Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Apr 14 2012

01:11 PM #
Feel like I drank a thousand beers last night, you guys. Really hurtin'.

01:14 PM #
When miss a concert by The Boss, you gotta go all out. Take it to the limit. It's a debt you pay back to the USA in cold ones.

01:16 PM #
You know how many cold ones it takes to make your soul feel like the embodiment of Bruce Springsteen's "The Rising?" I do. It's a shit ton.

01:27 PM #
Sometimes I wonder how many cold ones I'd have to pound to heal my soul if BL 'Nums didn't exist? They have my thanks. Real time saver.

01:32 PM #
"I'd never jump off the ledge. I just want someone to hold my hand while I stand on it." -Budweiser

01:50 PM #
When ya listen to The Boss for 8 hours straight in Cold One City, it makes ya really hurt, thinkin' 'bout how the head honchos hurt the USA.

01:57 PM #
Sure it's nice to dump billions of dollars into wars to fix other countries, but maybe we could do somethin' 'bout Detroit first?

02:05 PM #
Rich folks just keep scoopin' up all the dough while the poor folks suffer. Maybe Mitt Romney can help? Bet he gets it.

02:12 PM #
You know who'd be a great president? Ric Flair. And I mean that sincerely, 'cause who cares, you guys. USA, Wooooooooooooooo!!!

07:50 PM #
Havin' a real celebraish with Dave. Top shelf margs. Chips & dip. The works, really. Feelin' real good & warm 'bout the USA.

08:10 PM #
Made my Captain Carlos' Margs Especial (special recipe). Had a secret stash of Sammy Hagar's Cabo Wabo. So smooth.

08:15 PM #
Had to stop buyin 1800 Tequila. That twerp from the Sopranos actin all big and bad, drinkin outta the cap? Real men drink outta the bottle.

08:20 PM #
Why does 1800 Tequila have a stringbean guido in their ads anyway? So stupid. He should be sellin' Ragu on a street corner.

08:23 PM #
And why does Michael Spaghetti think he's so badass anyway? You drink tequila in a suit? You think you're better than everyone? Corncob.

08:28 PM #
Let's see, I can buy Tequila from celebraish master, the Red Rocker, or from Michael Spaghetti, a monkey suit, cap drinkin' corncob? Easy.

08:30 PM #
These margs are goin' down so smooth, you guys. Might head out. Dave said he's got a new move called "The Super Peener." Gotta check it out.