DadBoner - Fri Apr 20 2012
11:20 AM #
Happy Friday to ya, you guys.
11:21 AM #
Hard to face everyone at work today. Don't really wanna talk about it.
11:24 AM #
After takin' my 5pm BM in the work john yesterday, I couldn't move my arms very well for cleanup. Might be gettin' muscle bound.
11:29 AM #
Heard Ken come in on the phone. Was desperate. Needed help. Had NO choice. Couldn't stripe my Tabasco unders, they were a gift.
11:32 AM #
Said, "Ken, guy to guy, can you one time my backside? I'll trade you a premium sixer. I'm all swoll from gettin' hardbodied with Dave."
11:35 AM #
Ken said, "Jesus Karl!" and ran outta the john. He musta been on an important call 'cause I said PREMIUM. No one turns that down.
11:38 AM #
Sat there for 20 minutes. Went to stand up and my legs were asleep. Crashed onto the TP dispenser. Ripped it off the wall. Cut my face.
11:41 AM #
Couldn't move my arms or legs, so I had to inchworm under the stall. Peener & veggies all out, backdoor was still toast. Just wanted safety.
11:45 AM #
Vernon came in, saw me on the floor, bloody, carnal exposure, filthy unders. Said, "Hell no, Karl. Hell no." and walked out. I needed help!
11:48 AM #
Felt like I laid there for hours. Finally mustered the strength to get up. When I walked out of the john everyone at work was staring at me.
11:54 AM #
Told everyone, "I was havin' issues in the john! Anyone who's gotten the swollen pythons they deserve has had a problem! Ric Flair,...
11:56 AM #
...Stone Cold, Sly. They ALL can't get their backdoor without a guy code one timer from a pal. So don't judge me 'cause I care about my bod!
11:58 AM #
...It's part of bein' in shape! But YOU'D never know that. Wait'll beach season! You'll see when I rock the babes from coast to coast!"
11:59 AM #
Everyone just kinda walked away. Think I burned 'em down. No one'll even look at me today. Feel bad like I hurt their feelings.
12:01 PM #
When your bod's so hard you can't clean up after a BM, that means the program's working, you guys. Anyone who doesn't get that is jealous.
12:05 PM #
Bein' cool makes you popular, but I guess bein' the coolest makes you alone. Goin' to eat some Jack Links Sweet & Hot jerk in my car.
05:27 PM #
Dave said Crazy Cooter's havin' some "Fort Wendy's" celebraish tonight? Don't know about it. Could use a celebraish though. Had a rough day.