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DadBoner - Fri Apr 20 2012

11:20 AM #
Happy Friday to ya, you guys.

11:21 AM #
Hard to face everyone at work today. Don't really wanna talk about it.

11:24 AM #
After takin' my 5pm BM in the work john yesterday, I couldn't move my arms very well for cleanup. Might be gettin' muscle bound.

11:29 AM #
Heard Ken come in on the phone. Was desperate. Needed help. Had NO choice. Couldn't stripe my Tabasco unders, they were a gift.

11:32 AM #
Said, "Ken, guy to guy, can you one time my backside? I'll trade you a premium sixer. I'm all swoll from gettin' hardbodied with Dave."

11:35 AM #
Ken said, "Jesus Karl!" and ran outta the john. He musta been on an important call 'cause I said PREMIUM. No one turns that down.

11:38 AM #
Sat there for 20 minutes. Went to stand up and my legs were asleep. Crashed onto the TP dispenser. Ripped it off the wall. Cut my face.

11:41 AM #
Couldn't move my arms or legs, so I had to inchworm under the stall. Peener & veggies all out, backdoor was still toast. Just wanted safety.

11:45 AM #
Vernon came in, saw me on the floor, bloody, carnal exposure, filthy unders. Said, "Hell no, Karl. Hell no." and walked out. I needed help!

11:48 AM #
Felt like I laid there for hours. Finally mustered the strength to get up. When I walked out of the john everyone at work was staring at me.

11:54 AM #
Told everyone, "I was havin' issues in the john! Anyone who's gotten the swollen pythons they deserve has had a problem! Ric Flair,...

11:56 AM #
...Stone Cold, Sly. They ALL can't get their backdoor without a guy code one timer from a pal. So don't judge me 'cause I care about my bod!

11:58 AM #
...It's part of bein' in shape! But YOU'D never know that. Wait'll beach season! You'll see when I rock the babes from coast to coast!"

11:59 AM #
Everyone just kinda walked away. Think I burned 'em down. No one'll even look at me today. Feel bad like I hurt their feelings.

12:01 PM #
When your bod's so hard you can't clean up after a BM, that means the program's working, you guys. Anyone who doesn't get that is jealous.

12:05 PM #
Bein' cool makes you popular, but I guess bein' the coolest makes you alone. Goin' to eat some Jack Links Sweet & Hot jerk in my car.

05:27 PM #
Dave said Crazy Cooter's havin' some "Fort Wendy's" celebraish tonight? Don't know about it. Could use a celebraish though. Had a rough day.