Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Apr 21 2012

12:02 PM #
Really hurtin' today, you guys. Crazy Cooter had a "4/20" celebraish, not "Fort Wendy's." Guess it's an FBI code for drugs. Real hush hush.

12:08 PM #
Crazy Cooter was wearin ICP juggler paint on his face. Actin real erratic. Kept screamin' "WHOOP WHOOP!" in people's faces. Seemed impolite.

12:11 PM #
Dave said he wanted to have ICP paint on his face too. Told him, "This isn't the circus and we're not tryin to get carnal with clown babes."

12:13 PM #
Crazy Cooter kept tryin' to get me to smoke grass out of some giant 6 foot glass thing. Told him I'd be just fine with a J. It shows class.

12:25 PM #
When I was tokin' my J in the hot corner where I stashed my own private BL 'Nums, Dave found a Sharpie and drew on his face like ICP. Idiot.

12:29 PM #
Told Dave, "who are you, Ass Clown Posse?" He screamed "Whoop Whoop!" in my face. Got steamed. Told him, "cram it, Bozo." Shut him down.

12:41 PM #
Was treatin' a babe to one of my private BL 'Nums when Crazy Cooter lit his couch on fire and kept sayin' "Whoop Whoop." Kinda concerning.

12:45 PM #
Told Crazy Cooter that lightin' your couch on fire is dangerous. Just kept sayin' "Whoop Whoop!" Think he did too many drugs, 4/20 style.

12:53 PM #
Crazy Cooter's ma came runnin in with a pan of water, screamin, "You piece of shit, that's our couch!" It was definitely time for profanity.

12:56 PM #
Crazy Cooter said, "If I wanna burn our fuckin couch, I'll burn the fucker!" His ma hit him with the pan. Smashed his nose. Lotta blood.

12:57 PM #
With all the arson and blood spray, it looked like a good time to take my BL 'Nums and go home. But couldn't find Ass Clown Posse Dave.

01:03 PM #
Guess Dave ate a buncha grass baked goods and forgot his drew on clown paint. Found him in the john sayin' "My face is dying!" Real mess.

01:07 PM #
Told Dave, "your face isn't dying, you're just Ass Clown Posse." Had to help him to the car. Cooter's house was like a war zone.

02:01 PM #
Learned some pretty valuable life lessons last night: #1 ICP guys don't know when to say when to stop lightin' their own houses on fire.

02:03 PM #
#2 If you bring BL 'Nums into a den of maniacs, make sure you keep a private stash so if the action gets too hot, you can grab 'em & split.

02:07 PM #
and #3: Don't eat a bunch of grass pastries after you drew on a Sharpie ICP Bozo face. You'll wish you were dead, you guys.