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DadBoner - Tue Apr 24 2012

01:43 PM #
Just got to work. Such a mess. Steamed at Dave like never before. Wanna murder his face to oblivion. He's a stupid worthless corncob!!!

01:52 PM #
Took the day off to go to Monday Night Raw yesterday. Made a big Thermos of roadie G&Ts, plenty of Jack Links. The works, really.

02:02 PM #
Got there early and hit up Cheli's Chili bar. My fav. The chili is so money. Comes in a bread bowl and everything. Just the way I like it.

02:06 PM #
Musta took down 6 Labatt's with my Cheli's slow smoked baby backs. You gotta check it out. So smooth.

02:07 PM #
When we headed over to the Joe for Raw, Dave said he wasn't feelin' too hot. Told him maybe he just had to grunt out a premie.

02:09 PM #
Our seats weren't the greatest, but we snuck in some Beam in Dave's crotch. Not ideal, but no one's getttin' near those sweats.

02:13 PM #
When you're sittin' behind the Titan Tron, it's a BYOB policy. Kind of an unspoken code of the WWE. Think I read that somewhere.

02:16 PM #
Stone Cold didn't show up. Pretty disappointin'. Was hopin' to see him crush some cold ones, bad boy style.

02:18 PM #
Saw some good stuff though. Some babe with rockin' chest beefers broke her ankle. Man, wish I coulda been there for her. Give her my touch.

02:22 PM #
Didn't care much for the fat oriental who beat up the black from the streets. In real life, man, R-Truths woulda just shot that assclown.

02:24 PM #
I also remember some rich mexican guy (wrestling is fake) fightin some monster face guy and a dude named Pig Show. They were huge, you guys!

02:27 PM #
I know the CM Punk guy. Used to rock. Looks like he has a drinkin' problem now. It's kinda sad. Hope he doesn't turn out like Jake Snakeman.

02:32 PM #
My favorite part mighta been when The Funkosaurus guy came out. Soul brother has got it goin' on! Babes on each arm? SOMEBODY CALL MY MOMMA!

02:35 PM #
Funkosaurus is sponsored by Loco D'reets. Big caboose babes, bold flavors, nasty jams, fine threads? Might give Guy a run for King of Cool.

02:38 PM #
Sometime around when Brock Lesnar and Cena were gonna have a meeting, Dave said he needed to go to the car to lay down. Gave him the keys.

02:49 PM #
Polished off the Beam and caught a few z's in my seat. Wanted to rest up for the drive home. Gotta be responsible.

02:53 PM #
Went to where the 'Bring was after an usher woke me up to "get the hell out, idiot." Wasn't very nice. Think he didn't like his job.

02:55 PM #
Couldn't find the car. Figured some Detroit street animal feasted his eyes on the 'Bring and had to get it on.

02:57 PM #
Musta called Dave 20 times in 2 hrs. before he picked up. Said he drove home 'cause it was a BM emergency and hung up for "privacy."

02:59 PM #
Had to get a room at some crap hotel. Took the Greyhound back today like a homeless. Had to hold in my beefs for 2 hrs on it. So steamed.

03:00 PM #
Gonna get a private cab back to the pad. Hope Dave knows hell's comin' with me.