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DadBoner - Sun May 06 2012

02:47 PM #
Really hurtin' today. If you're not, you probably didn't do your job for the USA & Mexican relations, you guys.

02:51 PM #
Had a blast at Tony D's. Real fiesta. So much Mexican pride, bold flavors, chips & dip, "carnal asada." The works really. Full spread.

02:55 PM #
Tony D was so cool. Lives with his cousin Ricardo, Ric's bro Boinah, his Ma, and a whole other family upstairs! Such a proud clan.

03:03 PM #
Brought a 12 of BL Margs as a peace offering. Gave it to Tony D, "para mi nuevos amigos." He said, "Orale!" Knew he was down, you guys.

03:10 PM #
Dave was bein' cool. The homies lifted him up for a keg stand. He barfed a ton. Everyone cheered. Mexicans know it's part of a celebraish.

03:18 PM #
Cooter said he was "feelin' ripe & nasty." Had to go get a taste of the "ugly dust." Said I was cool. BL Margs had me in the limelight.

03:23 PM #
Don't know what they put in the "carnal asada," but I was feelin' real boss after 2 tacs & a couple smooth tokes off Tony D's grass cigar.

03:25 PM #
Was peepin' this babe named Sally Perez. Such a dynamite latina. Real generous in the caboose, lips, & chest beefer portions. Piled high.

03:32 PM #
Thought I'd keep it outlaw with Sally. Gave her "the bad boy nod." Knocked over a bowl of guac, don't think she noticed. Played it cool.

03:38 PM #
Guess Dave wasn't feelin' so well. Went in the john to take a carnal asada BM, he was crashed out in the tub, pukin' up some black goop.

03:46 PM #
Told Dave "Just Listerine for the honeys & stop blowin' black tar out your grill." Can't puke in a 'Can's tub on the Cinco. Disresptecful.

03:49 PM #
Thought if Sallyvknew I was down with the barrio homies, I'd have a better shot crossin' the border. Teamed up with Tony D and some mescal.

03:56 PM #
Me & Tony D took that Mescal to the house. I took the last drink. He said, "Get that worm, for the women!" 10-4, bueno amigo.

04:02 PM #
Was gonna go rap to Sally, show her my moves, but Tony D said he had somethin' real special planned. Guess it was a guy to guy situaish.

04:07 PM #
Tony D went to the stereo, picked up a Bad Company tape, put it in and started screamin, "BAD COMPANY, TIL THE DAY I DIE!" Kinda concerning.

04:13 PM #
Tony D screamed the whole "Bad Company" song in my face with tears runnin' down his cheeks. Might be a Mexican thing? Stayed strong.

04:18 PM #
Told Tony D, "guy to guy, do you think Sally catches my mad swag?"He got real serious, said "That's my cousin!" Said, so? Cool ese?

04:21 PM #
Dave came crashin' outta the john, pants around his ankles, covered in black puke goop, said, "Do you think anyone delivers crab cakes?"

04:23 PM #
Told Tony D I should either get Dave home or to the hospital and hit it to the 'Bring. Don't remember drivin' home. Guess I was too carnal.

04:26 PM #
Headin out, I told Sally, "Someday lady, you'll accompany me." Felt righteous. Puked up some Mescal by the car and drove home, feelin' free.

04:34 PM #
If you're gonna put the moves on a latina babe, puke up some mescal on your car, then ride into the mornin' sun like a boss, you guys.

04:34 PM #
I'd love to personally wish a happy birthday to Mr. Bob Seger. A true voice of America. Ain't gonna make 'em like that anymore, you guys.

04:40 PM #
Every year we have Bob Seger on this earth is better than the ones we won't. Least you can do is tip a goddamn USA cold one in his honor.

05:00 PM #
"Feel like a number. I'm not a number. I'm NOT a number. Damnit, I'm a man. I said I'm a man." That's what life is all about, you guys.