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DadBoner - Tue May 08 2012

11:40 AM #
Bath towel seemed a kinda rough this mornin. Yelled to Dave if he used it. He came bustin' in and said, oh, that's my "date towel." ? !

11:42 AM #
Didn't ask Dave what "date towel" means. Don't want to know. Dave never goes on dates. Dave never has any dates stay over to use a towel.

11:45 AM #
Also, why does Dave think that just 'cause I'm talkin' to him through the john door, he should just open it and come in? I was in the nude.

11:50 AM #
I mean, I got no problem with my bod, in the nude. But that's for babes. The locker room peeners out mentality can invite trouble.

11:52 AM #
Sure, when you're in the john, peeners, veggies, backdoors? All exposed. But you keep it low key. It's not a showboat situaish.

11:55 AM #
Once in high school, I was walkin 'round the locker room in the nude like Joe Cool. A senior whipped my peener with a towel. Hurt real bad.

11:58 AM #
Thought my peener was gonna fall off. Burned like a thousand suns and felt like it leaked hot whizz but there was no whizz. Such a disaster.

11:59 AM #
Hiked myself up on the drinkin' fountain, in the nude, and put my peener under the cold water. Thought I might have to go to the hospital.

12:03 PM #
The gym teacher walked in and said, "Welzein, why in the hell is your plumbing in the water fountain?!" Didn't wanna rat, played it cool.

12:05 PM #
Was in so much pain I could hardly talk, told him, "My penis. On fire." The gym teacher sent me to the principle. Felt so sad. So scared.

12:07 PM #
Was pretty sure my peener was gonna fall off, AND I was gonna be in trouble for puttin it in the drinkin fountain. Fainted in the hallway.

12:09 PM #
Woke up to the secretary puttin smellin salts in my nose. Didn't know where I was. They sent me home. Had to tell my mom what happened.

12:11 PM #
My mom told me, "That's why we keep out plumbing in our pants, mister." Made me Triscuits & Mayo. Always hit the spot.

12:14 PM #
Never just walk around with your peener out. It's dangerous. Someone could whip it off with a towel, you guys.