Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat May 12 2012

11:27 AM #
Pretty banged up. Really hurtin.'

11:33 AM #
Dave's sleepin' in the kitchen. Fridge door is open. Hope the mayo didn't go bad. I just bought a new one. The big size too.

11:36 AM #
When you get skunked on a babe hunt, sleepin' in the kitchen is acceptable. Nothin' says shame like wakin' up to a face full of linoleum.

11:38 AM #
At one point last night, thought Dave might be closin' a deal. Rapped at a babe for 15 minutes. That's when I came in to really tee it up.

11:40 AM #
Said, "'Sup. I'm K-Money. Just to let you know, if you're into this cat right here, I'd take advantage. He's in demand from coast to coast."

11:42 AM #
"Don't wanna tell you what to do with your life, I'd get a taste of Dave's carnal passions. Don't look like you got other options."

11:45 AM #
"I got the 'Bring right outside. Real cherry. I could drive you two, like a private cab, but with the top down. Dave's all class."

11:49 AM #
"Plus, I got this new Billy Ocean CD. Ever get carnal to 'Suddenly' in a convertible? Man, you'll just cream." (gave Dave the guy code wink)

11:53 AM #
Dave kinda froze up and the babe said she was goin' for another drink. Never came back. Really blew it. I had that score on lockdown.

11:55 AM #
If Dave can't score with a babe with a face like a crumpled up lunch sack, I don't know what we're gonna do with him. Gotta regroup.

11:58 AM #
Found an old bottle of Andre in the back of the fridge. Makin' patch me up halfies with Gatorade. Call 'em Gatorpagne. So smooth.

12:00 PM #
Gatorpagne: half champagne, half Gatorade, because hydration don't need a reason to celebrate, you guys. Is it in you?

12:13 PM #
For whatever you got goin' on, why not start the day with a celebraish? With Gatorpagne, you'll touch the sky.