Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue May 15 2012

12:05 PM #
Ann called. Says we need to talk and wants to get together Thursday. Musta heard what a blast I had on Karl's Day. Probably feels left out.

12:21 PM #
Sure, makin' fart sounds on Ann's answering machine might've been immature, but it shows a youthful spirit. Lets her know I'm virile.

12:23 PM #
Young or old, makin' fart sounds into the phone never goes out of style. It's a timeless power move, you guys.

02:33 PM #
Just had a meeting at work. Said they're cuttin' our pay, but we get to keep our jobs, so we should be thankful. Thank THIS, a-holes.

02:34 PM #
I give 110% at my job, and if that's the way they wanna play ball, I might just have to cut it back to 85. I'm no slave. I have pride.

02:38 PM #
Guess the head honcho didn't come in to make the cuts himself 'cause he's on vacation. Makes me so steamed. Probably on an island somewhere.

02:40 PM #
Nowadays, you can't even bend over for a second in this country without some rich corncob tryin' to push his problems in your backdoor.

03:23 PM #
The "you're lucky to have a job" line is just a face crap, grunted outta the mouths of rich pieces of trash, you guys.

03:26 PM #
I'm not "lucky" to have a job. I "deserve" a job, 'cause I'm a goddamn American, and that's how we do things around here.

03:44 PM #
If a boss screws you over, find their home number, a pay phone, and give 'em some late night fart sound phone calls. Street Justice, USA.

03:51 PM #
Headin to Cold One City, where the unemployment rate is 0% and everybody makes 12 ounces a bottle. Fair Wages & Freedom for the Workin Man.