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DadBoner - Mon May 21 2012

11:57 AM #
Really hurtin' today, you guys.

11:59 AM #
Went over to Crazy Cooter's on Saturday. He said we could use his pool if we helped clean it for a half hour. Severe underestimation.

12:00 PM #
Crazy Cooter's pool was still destroyed from when he crashed his motorcycle into it. Side was all caved in. You can't "clean" that.

12:03 PM #
Cooter said his pool'd still hold water and that "it's better than YOUR f@ckin' pool you pool you don't have, motherf@cker." Had a point.

12:05 PM #
Cleaned a dead raccoon and some sludge outta Cooter's pool. Smelled worse than the john at Wendy's. So rank. Dave started pukin' everywhere.

12:09 PM #
Cooter said, "You f@ckin' piece of sh*t! you puked in my pool, now you clean it all!" There was a dead animal in it! Barf wasn't the issue.

12:13 PM #
Cooter got out a sump pump he stole outta a truck at the gas station to get the rest of the water sludge sucked up. Was smokin' pretty bad.

12:16 PM #
We put Crazy Cooter's garden hose in the pool to start fillin' it up. He said "should only take an hour. Let's call up some f@ckin' slizz."

12:26 PM #
Sat on his burned up couch and tore through the Busch dirty 30. Cooter smoked some weird crap & passed out, screamin in the phone at a babe.

12:31 PM #
Finally, went outside to check on the pool. All the holes in it pretty much just flooded Cooter's backyard. Real disaster. Decide to split.

12:34 PM #
Cooter woke up and came outside, said, "Where the f@ck you think you're goin'? The pool's gonna fill up and I got slizz on the way f@ckers."

12:38 PM #
Cooter drug his filthy mattress outside and said, "When the slizz gets here, I'm gonna float & bang." Threw it in the pool. Was concerning.

12:41 PM #
Cooter stepped in the water to grab the sump pump. Said, "This is the problem, assf@cks!" Got shocked pretty bad. Couldn't feel his arm.

12:43 PM #
Told Cooter he should go the hospital, but he just got out a hammer and started smashing the side of the pool with it, usin' bad language.

12:46 PM #
Me and Dave just ran for the 'Bring. Cooter threw the hammer at Dave. Hit him in the back. Pretty bad bruise. Shoulda been faster.

12:59 PM #
No matter how bad you wanna hang with babes at a pool party, if the host throws a hammer at you, it's probably time to leave, you guys.