Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Wed May 23 2012

11:33 AM #
Talked to Dave last night. Indy 500 2012 is on! So pumped. Gonna be such a blast. Gotta shine up the 'Bring. Roll in with mad swag.

11:37 AM #
Dave said he heard all the babes at the infield celebraish at Indy are pretty much topless, they just don't show it on TV. Whoa.

11:48 AM #
Might have to pick up a new pair of Maui Jim shades to peep the babes. Mine got bent. Looks like I slept in 'em cause I did a few times.

11:56 AM #
Shows good manners to wear dark shades in the summer. It's rude to stare at a babe's chest beefers if she knows you're doin' it, you guys.

01:08 PM #
If I get a new pair of shades, I could wear one pair on my face and the other on the back of my neck like Guy Fieri. It'd look so badass.

01:13 PM #
Guy's style is so on point. Wonder why he doesn't have a rockin pony? TV honchos probably say, "No way, leave some cool for the rest of us."

01:18 PM #
Guy Fieri needs to have his own fashion line. Saw that Marc Anthony corncob has his own line at Kohl's. And Guy DOESN'T?! Pretty shocking.

01:24 PM #
I know a thing or 2 about how a man should dress to impress. Maybe I should draw up a Guy Fieri clothing line? Could sweep the nation.

01:27 PM #
Guy Fieri should definitely have his own cologne too. "So Money, by Guy." Or, "Bold Odors, from The House of Fieri." Written ALL this down.

02:06 PM #
Sneakin' outta work to get on my Guy Fieri fashion line while it's fresh in my mind. Maybe bring drawings to Indy just in case. Who knows?