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DadBoner - Sun Jun 03 2012

01:20 PM #
Feel like I drank a thousand beers last night, you guys.

01:33 PM #
Hit up Paddy's with Dave, lookin' to get some carnal nuturing with his Crest & paper towel cast. Was pretty bombed on 12 Gauges.

01:36 PM #
Dave wanted to park in the handicapped. Told him, a fake broken arm don't make you handicapped, a fake mirror tag does. Or a can't wait BM.

01:39 PM #
If you got an angry stinky kickin' down your backdoor, it's ok to park in the handicapped 'cause you're physically not 100%. That's a law.

01:41 PM #
Dave me drop him off and then park. So selfish. I was drunk. That's extra driving. More chances for an accident. He doesn't think.

01:49 PM #
Soon as we got in the bar, Dave started sayin to babes, "I got a cast. I got in a fight." Stupid. You get a hot corner and wait for nature.

01:52 PM #
Always wait for babes to make a 1st move. Approachin' them is a last ditch effort. Shows you don't care 'cause you probably get your share.

01:55 PM #
Think guys like Kid Rock ask out babes? No. The babes sense the mad swag and just donate their carnal passions. That's how I operate.

02:02 PM #
Had my hot corner blazin'. Took down 4 double Cocoa Tans. Had my lean on point. Necessary, but still on point. Dave was NOT on point.

02:06 PM #
I TRIED to cool up Dave with a fake cast, and he's was just flailin' around in the middle of the bar to that "Let's Be Retarded" song.

02:24 PM #
Hate that "Let's Be Retarded" song. So stupid. Saw those buffoons on a halftime show once. Jeez. Really awful. 'Cept for the healthy babe.

02:35 PM #
Had to get out of my hot corner. Had to get it on. That "Drink In My Hand" song came on, I pounded my Cocoa Tan, and swerved into action.

02:37 PM #
Smashed into a few patrons, had to get my sea legs after the hot corner, but then, it was on. Started throwin' moves like air hay makers.

02:38 PM #
If you want babes to think you kickass, then kickass. Don't leave it up to the imagination they might not have, you guys.

02:40 PM #
Kinda lost my footing. Think there was a bad spot on the floor. Crashed into Dave, and ripped his cast halfway off. He started screamin'.

02:43 PM #
Dave yelled, "My broken arm! I need a babe to massage me STAT." So embarrassing. Who says, "STAT?" Get with the times. You say, "pronto."

02:45 PM #
Don't remember much after that. Dave's still crashed out like a lazy bag of crap. Have to ask him after his "ugly rest."