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DadBoner - Fri Jun 08 2012

12:21 PM #
KARL 3:16 says it's time for Friday to whoop yer ass, you guys!

12:23 PM #
Nosey Lady asked why I was watchin' this: http://t.co/foIV26yI Said, "Why would I NOT be, ya piece of trash." Think she's steamed.

12:26 PM #
Might get some black boots to wear with my jean shorts like Stone Cold instead of my Tevas. That's definitely the move. So badass.

12:37 PM #
Wearin' boots with jean shorts says, "I like to keep cool, but I'm ready if the action gets hot."

12:50 PM #
Dave's still steamed about me not puttin' up a Craigslist romance ad up for him. He's takin' drastic measures involvin' my BM schedule.

12:52 PM #
Last night, when it was time for my 10pm BM, I thought Dave was in the shower, which is odd at any time of day. He's such a grossout.

12:56 PM #
After a half hour, I had to get it on in the BM department, no questions. Decided Dave'd have to just deal with a brown shower steamer.

01:01 PM #
Dave locked the door to the john, that I just fixed (with tools). Started poundin' on it. Screamin', "PLEASE DAVE! 'MERGENCY!"

01:04 PM #
I had to make stinky like never before. Had to get it on, pronto. So I kicked the john door in. He left me no choice but destruction.

01:13 PM #
Dave wasn't even in the john. Just turned on the shower, locked the door, shut it, and left. He knows my squat schedule. Did it on purpose.

01:19 PM #
I coulda just popped the john lock with a coat hanger, but when you got an angry #2 at your backside, kickin' a door down is option #1.

01:24 PM #
There's 2 things you don't mess with: the USA, and another man's right to take a massive stinky. Both have harsh consequences, you guys.

01:27 PM #
When Dave came home, I played it cool. He asked why the john door was destroyed again. Told him, "f*ck it." Learned that from Crazy Cooter.

01:30 PM #
Crazy Cooter is a piece of garbage, but when it comes to profane, irrational explanations of why you destroyed your property, he's on point.

07:24 PM #
Told Dave, "I got a celebraish to go to, and the invite said, 10pm-? That's how you know it's real adults only, and anything could happen."

07:26 PM #
I really didn't get an invite, I just want Dave to feel left out for screwin' with my toilet time. It's dangerous, I coulda had a rupture.

07:29 PM #
Headin' out to see where the night moves take me. Been a while since I rocked it solo. I don't need a wingman when Bob is my co-pilot.