Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Jun 09 2012

12:24 PM #
Guess I slept in my car last night. Don't remember. Just figured 'cause I woke up there.

12:27 PM #
Told Dave, I was ragin' all night at the celebraish, and there were chest beefers from coast to coast. All ripe, and ready for pickin'.

12:29 PM #
I mean, blackin' out in the Chili's parkin' lot is cool, but tellin' Dave I was juicin' fresh chest beefers really destroyed his soul.

12:31 PM #
Daves asked how many beefers I got the feel for. Told him, "All of 'em." "Cause that'd be true if there was an actual celebraish.

12:33 PM #
Think Dave might be cryin' in his room now. Feel kinda bad. Maybe shouldn't of told him I got ALL the chest beefers. Too harsh?

12:35 PM #
Might go get some BL 'Nums. Help Dave with his Craigslist ad. He seems pretty broken. If he killed himself it'd really ruin my day.

12:38 PM #
Most babes probably wouldn't be interested in Dave, but who knows? Maybe he could score a grossout. After all, trash does go in the garbage.

12:46 PM #
I just want to be a good person, and if crushin' a pal's soul, just to build it back up is the chore, then you get the job done, you guys.