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DadBoner - Mon Jun 25 2012

12:01 PM #
Had such a blast this weekend. Got a rich, cocoa tan. Really settin' it off with my pink golf shirt. So money. Even Nosey Lady noticed!

12:20 PM #
Went up to Ludington with Dave. Little bit of a drive, but figured we'd never run into Crazy Cooter there. Vacay should be terror free.

12:26 PM #
Brought blankets, pillows, 3 dirty 30s of Busch, BL 'Nums, chips 'n dip, Cheddarwursts, burger meat, buns. The works, really. Full spread.

12:30 PM #
Didn't bring a tent. If you wanna meet campfire babes, sleepin' all natural bad boy style on the ground says, "Open for visitors, 24/7."

12:46 PM #
Made a couple new friends right away. Guy named Tim Dog and his lady, Amber. He just got outta jail, havin' a honeymoon celebraish.

12:52 PM #
When you meet someone who just got done bein' locked up, man, that's the best time to make friends. They're down for good times.

12:56 PM #
Tim Dog had on a REAL Daytona Beach Bike Week tee. Mighta been the coolest tee I'd ever seen. Don't think he ever took it off for 3 days.

01:05 PM #
Coulda drank a thousand beers on Friday. Me and Dave kinda remember Tim Dog havin' Amber show us her chest beefers, but not sure. Hope so?

01:07 PM #
In jail, chest beefers are rare, so it makes sense to share 'em with your pals when you get out. Jail gives a sense of community.

01:20 PM #
Me and Dave were really hurtin' on Saturday mornin. Tim Dog said we could share his tent with Amber. Seemed kinda tight. Just hit the dirt.

01:27 PM #
Dave left his flops too close to the fire. Got a little melty overnight. Only covered up half his foot the next day. Ha!

01:34 PM #
Dave don't like to bathe in public places so I hit the showers with Tim Dog, guy to guy. Brought some cold ones.

01:36 PM #
Drinkin' a few cold ones in the shower on vacay is the ultimate in decadent relaxation. It's how they do it in Europe.

01:38 PM #
Had a blast with Tim Dog in the showers. Crackin' jokes, makin' gas and yellin' "who farted?!" Ha! Just some campground humor.

01:40 PM #
Tim Dog yelled, "I'm gonna take a sh*t!" Laughed so hard I almost puked. Then he showed me it in his shower stall after. Kinda concerning?

01:42 PM #
When someone gets outta jail, they might have a different sense of humor. It's important to be understanding 'bout a "BM in the shower" gag.

01:57 PM #
Walkin' back from the shower, Tim Dog keep droppin' his towel in front of babes, sayin' "whoops!" Peener just out. Tried to play it cool.

01:59 PM #
If you show a babe on the streets your peener, it's illegal. But by accident in a campground situaish is pretty understandable, you guys.

02:05 PM #
Me & Dave decided to hit the beach. Peep some fannies. Show off my beach bod. Made a Faygo 3 Liter & Captain. Kinda of a tradition.

02:09 PM #
Hit up 'Bee's for some take out. See how the locals do things. Eatin' 'Bee's on the beach is a real power move. Show's babes you have class.

02:10 PM #
I got the Philly Burger. Piled high with grilled onions, sautéed peppers & mushrooms, and smothered in creamy cheese sauce. So on point.

02:13 PM #
Dave got the 'Bee's Oriental Chicken Rollup. Think he was tryin' to show off to the waitress that he was "from the city." Idiot. Bad choice.

02:18 PM #
When we got to the beach, Dave kept wantin' bites of my Philly Burg. 2 guys can't share a sammy on the beach Dave. Gives the wrong vibe.

02:24 PM #
Took down all the 'Bee's and the Captain and Rock & Rye. Kinda passed out. Woke up to cocoa tan perfection. So money.

02:31 PM #
Looked over and Dave was grossin' out some babes with his "surf moves." Had to show 'em how it's done, but my legs were asleep.

02:33 PM #
Started throwin 'Bee's trash and the empty Faygo 3 Leet at Dave to get his attention. Hit a babe in the face. Got steamed. Was Dave's fault!

02:36 PM #
Dave came back with the trash. Acted like he didn't know me and bein "tough." Threw some sand in his face. He ran screamin' in the water.

02:37 PM #
Yelled to the babes, "Sorry 'bout the trash in the face. Just some bad boy stuff! Come over and let's get casual on my private blanket!"

02:38 PM #
The babes took off. Guess Dave grossed 'em out too much. Headed back to camp.

03:24 PM #
When we got back to campsite, Tim Dog and Amber really took my "help yourself to the dirty 30s" to the limit. Were pretty bombed.

03:27 PM #
Tim Dog said, "Amber's a professional masseuse. She'll give you a tent rub down for 40 bucks." Dave borrowed 40 bucks pronto from me.

03:30 PM #
Not my style to get a rub down. My bod keeps loose naturally. Plus, a babe could go wild with restrained unprofessional passions.

03:32 PM #
After Dave's rub down. He went in the 'Bring and locked the door. Wouldn't look at anyone. Musta been intense. Glad I passed.

03:56 PM #
Grabbed the BL 'Nums and decided to cruise for campfire babes. Did about 3 laps. Finally just posted up on some babes and played it cool.

03:58 PM #
Musta leaned up against a tree by the babes for 2 hrs. Kept sayin', "Sup, babes?" Shoulda worn more 'logne.

04:00 PM #
Woke up on ground in AM and the babes were gone. Was covered in half melted ice. All wet. So cold. Musta dumped a cooler and not seen me.

04:03 PM #
Went back to the campsite and Tim Dog and Amber were leavin'. Exchanged addresses and phone numbers. Good people. Might keep in touch!

04:05 PM #
Before he got in the car, Tim Dog said, "Hey Karl?" Then took off his Daytona Bike Week shirt and threw it to me like Mean Joe. So. Badass.

04:09 PM #
Had such a great damn weekend, you guys. Feel like horsecrap, but flyin' high, and lookin' good.