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DadBoner - Sun Jul 01 2012

12:55 PM #
Really hurtin'. Step 1: Pop some Andre. Step 2: Pour in Solo cup w/ ice. Step 3: Add Gatorade. Step 4: Celebrate hydration with Gatorpagne.

01:02 PM #
Looks like there's alot of carnage on the front lawn of the building. Don't think me and Dave did all of it. Kids probably came at night.

01:07 PM #
Things got heated with Neighbor Guy last night. Thought we were cool? Apologized for crushin' his kid's face with that sandwich months ago.

01:10 PM #
Neighbor Guy yelled, "Did you get permission from the landlord to use a chainsaw on the property?" Told him, "This ain't China, buddy."

01:14 PM #
Chainsaws aren't weapons like guns. They're TOOLS. Last time I checked, this country used TOOLS to build America. Can fire 'em up anywhere.

01:21 PM #
Turned up the Seger. All the way. Pounded a Busch and stared him down. Dave hoisted the chainsaw like the Stanley Cup. Super Power Move.

01:28 PM #
Neighbor Guy walked over like he wanted some. No need for violence when American brothers should come together. Offered him a cold one.

01:38 PM #
Yelled over the Seger, "Look boss, guy to guy, me and Dave are just tryin to have a lil' pre-4th celebraish. Got plento cold ones. PLENTO."

01:49 PM #
Neighbor Guy was actually pretty cool. Stayed for 5 or 6 cold ones until he remembered his kid was upstairs in the bathtub. Ha!

01:54 PM #
World leaders need to learn there's no need for violence when a kind nod and an ice cold beer is the universal sign of peace, you guys.

02:16 PM #
Went for a BM break. Came back down and the wood fire on the grill was outta control. Dave thought the lighter fluid was "single serving."

02:19 PM #
Kicked the Weber over. Why I wear boots with my jean shorts like Stone Cold. Never know when you'll go from "relaxin'" to "action."

02:21 PM #
Flamin' wood chunks went everwhere. Stupid Dave. Wasted all that slow smoked hardwood taste on a burnt up patch of the lawn.

02:23 PM #
Pile up the wood with the community dog crap shovel, campfire style. Started throwin packs of Black Cats in it. Such a blast.

02:28 PM #
Cops showed up around 11:30. Thought Neighbor Guy's kid drowned. Woulda ruined the night. But I guess some corncob called about noise.

02:32 PM #
Told the Cops, "We're just usin' the fireworks that SHOULD be legal, like Black Cats. Savin' the big ones for the 4th. (wink)"

02:37 PM #
Cops were cool. Just told us to take it inside. Told 'em "Thanks, but we already had an incident with indoor fireworks. We'll just hang."

02:40 PM #
Cops didn't even make us cleanup, just poured cooler water on the fire. Technically, it's ok to leave the mess. That's how the law works.

02:46 PM #
Alotta people hate the Cops. But there's good ones out there who do the job right by protectin', servin', and lookin' the other way.