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DadBoner - Sat Jul 14 2012

03:13 PM #
Mighta made some questionable decisions last night? Went from "on point" to "a thousand miles an hour" in about 60 seconds.

03:15 PM #
Rolled into Paddy's feelin' so money. Felt like I could drink a thousand beers. Decided to fast forward with 6-8 shots and a few cold ones.

03:18 PM #
Was layin the K-Money swag on thick to some babe named, Heather B. Said she didn't feel comfortable givin out her last name. Real hush hush.

03:21 PM #
Asked Heather B. if she'd come back to the pad for a one on one rendezvous and to check out my DJ moves. Said if I paid her tab, it was on.

03:26 PM #
Heather B. wanted to drive separate back to the pad, just in case she had an emergency. Think she might have BM problems? Understandable.

03:29 PM #
Heather B. musta got lost followin' me back to the pad. Weird 'cause I was kinda bombed and goin' slow. Gotta be responsible, you guys.

03:34 PM #
Went up on the roof with my boombox. Started blarin' Lionel Richie's "My Destiny" like a beacon of carnal passions.

03:36 PM #
When WLZN is playin' Lionel Richie in the after hours "Love Zone," that's like the bat signal for babes to come runnin' from coast to coast.

03:44 PM #
Dave came out on the lawn and started doin' the peener. Yelled down at him to hit the bricks or he was gonna scare off Heather B. Idiot.

03:46 PM #
A couple cars drove by. Could been Heather B. or any other late night babes cruisin' for a steam sesh. Probably saw Dave and beat it.

03:49 PM #
Was screamin' at Dave to cut it with the Peener and I'd kick him the scraps if any babes came with a garbage pal. I know how to share.

03:52 PM #
Kinda lost my footing on the roof due to bein' bombed and tryin' to maintain a homeboy pose with the boombox. Almost fell off to my death.

03:55 PM #
Scraped my knees up pretty bad. Saved the boombox though. Think it was divine intervention, like I'm meant to be the hottest DJ of all time.

03:58 PM #
Gotta make better decisions. What if the last thing I saw on earth was a grown man thrustin' his peener and veggies around? It's not ideal.

04:01 PM #
I'm not sayin' The Big Man makes all the the decisions, but I like to think, once in awhile, he reaches out, guy to guy.

04:09 PM #
Everyone thinks God needs "thanks and praise." Seems strange. The Big Man don't need no credit. He's already the Big Man, lookin' down.

04:13 PM #
Gonna try to be productive tonight and work on my DJ skills. Gettin' pretty good at changin' CDs really fast. Dave seems impressed?

04:16 PM #
If you have a dream, don't drive 55. Mash that pedal all the way to the metal 'til you hit the finish line, guard rail, or run outta gas.