Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Jul 15 2012

02:06 PM #
Woke up this mornin' to Dave standin' on a chair with his buttcheeks spread in front of the AC. Kinda concerning, but understandable.

02:09 PM #
Dave said, "Sorry, tryin' to cool my guts down." Just drink ice water, Dave. No need to taint the community air with your p.u. stench.

02:13 PM #
So hot. Feel like I could drink a thousand beers right now, you guys.

02:43 PM #
Wonder why they never show Guy Fieri drinkin' cold ones on DDD? Man, bet he can drink up a storm. Sure like to go toe to toe.

02:48 PM #
They have all kindsa shows about eatin' 'til you wanna die. Why don't they have drinkin' ones? Man vs. Booze?

02:49 PM #
Wonder who'd win in a cold one contest with me, Kid Rock, and Guy Fieri? Probably be a 3-way tie. Then we'd have a rockin' celebraish!

02:56 PM #
Welcome to Man vs. Booze. Hosted by Stone Cold Steve Austin, and me, Captain Karl. Somebody give us an AWE HELL YEAH!

02:59 PM #
Tonight on Man vs. Booze, I'll be battling Kid Rock and Guy Fieri in the 5 Gallon Bucket of Gatorpagne Challenge.

03:09 PM #
Who do you think's gonna win tonight, Stone Cold? "Son, it's gonna be one helluva fight." (gives middle finger just 'cause it's badass)

03:13 PM #
So hot. AC isn't workin' for crap. Tryin' to pound cold ones as fast as possible. So sweaty. Think Dave beefed. Real thick in here.

03:17 PM #
Goin' to lay down in the tub with the shower set to "chillin' the most." Bringin' some cold ones. Can't think in this heat! Sick of this.