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DadBoner - Wed Jul 18 2012

01:16 PM #
Took a long B-Dubs lunch. 18 Mango Habs.Tryin' to lay low today. Things got kinda heated at the meeting about theft and vandalism at work.

01:22 PM #
Nosey Lady started with, "Ken had some property go missing. Although we're not sure if it was stolen, it'll be looked into." Gave me a look!

01:26 PM #
Ken piped up with, "Not sure?! My GQ didn't just disappear! I found shreds of it in the men's room garbage!" (Yeah, I put it there, idiot.)

01:29 PM #
Asked Ken, "What are you doin' diggin' through the trash, Ken? Pretty sad habit." Turned the tables on him. Power move.

01:32 PM #
Ken said, "I KNOW you stole my GQ, Karl!" No, I BORROWED it, then made it custom, and that makes it mine. That's the law of property.

01:36 PM #
Asked Ken, "Don't think so, what'd it look like?" Said, "It had a woman in a swimsuit on it!" Told him, "Oh, like a guy mag? Not my style."

01:38 PM #
Said, "Ken, you really shouldn't have guy mags in public at work. Not really appropriate." Gave Nosey the "respect the ladies" look.

01:41 PM #
Ken said, "You left a Penthouse in my home! My wife still thinks it was mine!" Told him, it was a "Timehouse" and you never gave it back.

01:44 PM #
You think it's easy to combine a Time and a Penthouse into a "Timehouse." Intelligent eroticism takes precision, glue, and razor blades.

01:47 PM #
Told Ken, "Look, no one is ever gonna know what happened to your GQ. EVER. So let it go, kimosabe. I got my own fish to fry." Power move.

01:59 PM #
Got my briefcase out and produced my "Bad Boy City Entertainment" flyer that someone changed to "Pig Butt City." Said, here's a REAL issue!"

02:03 PM #
Ken said, "FINE! I DID THAT! YOU HAPPY? GUESS WHO CARES? NO ONE! 'CAUSE IT'S NOT REAL YOU ASSHOLE!" Everyone got real quiet.

02:05 PM #
Nosy Lady asked to see Ken in private. He was all teary eyed and red. He didn't come in today. Think somethin's up.

02:08 PM #
Think Ken's jealous of my K-Money swag. Drives a man crazy seein' a real bad boy livin' the dream, while they're stuck in a nightmare.