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DadBoner - Fri Jul 20 2012

01:45 PM #
Though I keep searchin' for an answer. Never seem to find what I'm lookin' for. The Lord I praise'll give me strength to carry on...

01:45 PM #
...'Cause I know what it means. To walk along, the lonely street of dreams.

01:47 PM #
Happy Friday to ya, you guys. Had a weird stop by at Ken's last night. Kinda concerning for all parties involved.

01:51 PM #
Drank a few cold ones in the 'Bring on the way to Ken's. Wanted to be loose and conversational. Ken wasn't home. Just his Oo La La wife.

01:54 PM #
Asked if Ken was home. Ken's wife said, "Who cares. But you can wait." Got my dirty 30 of Busch. Perfect for an all night guy to guy.

01:56 PM #
Told Ken's wife I needed to use the john. She said, "Try the yard, Gary." Told her, "I'm Karl." She said, "whatever." Seemed bombed.

01:59 PM #
After I whizzed behind Ken's garage, I went back in. Ken's wife had a bottle of vodka out. Said, "You a shot guy, Gary?" Said, "I'm a man."

02:01 PM #
Musta pounded 5 Mountains and 3 shots with Ken's wife waitin' for Ken. Sat down next to me on the couch. Started playin' with my pony.

02:06 PM #
Ken's wife said, "Gary, Ken's not comin' home tonight." Unbuttoned her blouse. Started breathin' all weird. Thought she might be sick?

02:09 PM #
Ken's wife took shot and just grabbed right at my guy crotch. Almost passed out. Didn't know what to do. My vibe must be outta control.

02:12 PM #
When a babe is goes at your peener & veggies through jean shorts, the carnal passions possibilities have the heat of a thousand suns.

02:18 PM #
I didn't wanna do it, but all that Busch and the shots had me crazy from the heat. So I headed for Ken's wife's mountains.

02:21 PM #
I knew it was wrong, but I didn't wanna be right. My K-Money swag was firin' at 1,000% and...

02:22 PM #
...I don't remember much. It was just such a blur...

02:24 PM #
...but I went all the way with Ken's Oo La La wife. Right there on the sofa.

02:26 PM #
After we had consensual carnal passions, Ken's wife slapped me in the face and said, "Ken WILL be home soon. Get out, you piece of sh*t."

02:29 PM #
Don't know why Ken's wife slapped me or called me a bad word. Must be somethin' from Sex in The City or that Grey book babe's read?

02:31 PM #
Almost crashed the 'Bring 3 times on the way home. So out of it. Passed out on the kitchen floor with a bottle of Jim. Like a weird dream.

02:32 PM #
Signed my divorce papers and dropped them off this mornin' under Ann's door. Put, "Have a neat summer, Karl Welzein." Seemed casual?

02:36 PM #
Leavin' work. Feel like I need to drink a thousand beers right now, you guys.