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DadBoner - Tue Aug 14 2012

12:33 PM #
Sometimes a few casual drinks on Monday turn out to be more casual than expected. "Few" and "casual" are pretty relative terms, you guys.

12:46 PM #
Went to 'Bee's with Nosey Lady, Vernon, and Ken for Ken's big "welcome back." No one else showed. Thought he was more popular at work.

12:51 PM #
Wanted to be loose and conversational, not judged. Got to Bee's first and ordered 3 Mucho Margs. Snuck 2 in the john to crush in private.

12:55 PM #
It's sad, but nowadays if you have a hearty appetite for cocktails, you have a "problem." Used to mean you just liked havin' a good time.

01:03 PM #
Some corncob who works at 'Bee's came in the john. Said, "Sir you can't drink in here." Told him, "Sure can." Pounded a marg. Shut him down.

01:09 PM #
Went back out to the 'Bee's bar. Ordered 1 cold one and 1 Marg so everyone'd think I was takin' it easy. Hid my other Marg behind a menu.

01:12 PM #
Was worried that Nosey Lady just set it up to see if Ken had gayness. She finds out crap. So rude. Decided to control the convo for Ken.

01:18 PM #
Nosey Lady was spurtin' out garbage like, "So, you look good Ken!" I know what she's up to. It's a scam. But I had his back, buddy style.

01:22 PM #
Squeezed in next to Nosey and blocked her out. Told Vernon, "You ever see Ken's wife? So luscious. So thick. Body be bangin'! You'd dig it."

01:26 PM #
Vernon tried to play it cool, but I could tell he was interested. Told him, "Ken's a real ladies man. Like the soul brother from the movie."

01:29 PM #
Started doin' my best Ladies Man voice. It's such a classic. Never gets old. Ever.

01:35 PM #
Wanted another Mucho Marg but that corncob from the john told on me. Could tell she was on my side, but had to cut me off. So steamed.

01:38 PM #
Realized my wallet was gone. Told Vernon, Ken, and Nosey 'bout how I got robbed, but to spot me and I'd get 'em back with trunk liquor.

01:40 PM #
Waited for everyone to rendezvous back at the 'Bring, but they never showed. Musta got smashed and forgot. Hung out for 2 hrs. Had a blast!

09:19 PM #
Tryin' to watch Shark Week. They keep playin' that Miller 64 ad. So steamed. Buncha corncobs actin' like sissies who get babes. Such a load.

09:22 PM #
What's the "64" in "Miller 64" stand for anyway? How many babes'll laugh in your face if they see you drinkin' that garbage in public?