Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Aug 18 2012

10:43 AM #
Feel like I drank a thousand beers last night, you guys. Really hurtin'. Need Gatorpagne.

12:41 PM #
Stocked up heavy for the weekend last night. Dirty 30 of Busch, dozen BL 'Nums, bottle of Crown. Mostly gone. Kinda concerning?

12:51 PM #
Crazy Cooter stopped by. Dave told him about the Roadhouse script. Said we should act it out. Seemed like a good idea? Kinda got outta hand.

12:57 PM #
Crazy Cooter said, "I'm a f*ckin' stunt man, and I can f*ckin' act. I'm Guy Cooler." Was playin' with his knife. Blinkin alot. Didn't argue.

01:00 PM #
Crazy Cooter called some babes. Said he needed "some f*ckin' tits and dumpers around if I'm was gonna get into character." Made sense.

01:01 PM #
Cooter got into some hour long argument with some babe named Amber on the phone. Lives in Indiana. Don't know how she was gonna come over.

01:15 PM #
No babes came over. Cooter got kinda steamed. Started poundin' the bottle of Crown. Said, "I'm gonna act the f*ck outta this sh*t."

01:17 PM #
Cooter wanted to start at the "good part." Told me to go "take a fake sh*t with your chainsaw." Wasn't really focused on dialogue.

01:26 PM #
Was in the john with my chainsaw. Heard Crazy Cooter smash through the window. Landed on someone's Scion. Started screamin' bad words.

01:29 PM #
Crazy Cooter said, "musta cracked some f*ckin' ribs! How'm I gonna f*ck Amber!?" Didn't seem like the main concern at the time.

01:35 PM #
Had to carry Cooter to the couch. Cooter drank 'til the sun came up to "make sure I don't f*ckin' die. Gotta pound the vitamin C(rown."

01:37 PM #
If you still crave booze, you're probably not gonna die. It's a leisure activity. Your brain knows when it's time to go to the hospital.