Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Aug 25 2012

12:58 PM #
Was snoozin' after my chillin' last night when Crazy Cooter put a brick through the window. Said, "Forgot my f*ckin' key. Got locked out."

01:02 PM #
Got so steamed. Told Cooter, "You don't have a key 'cause you don't live here! That's the second time you broke that window in like a week!"

01:05 PM #
Cooter said, "I broke it the first time starrin in your f*ckin' movie! That's why I had to live here! I'm compensationed!" Was blinkin alot.

01:07 PM #
Crazy Cooter tried climbin' in the broken window. Cut his hand pretty bad on the jagged glass. Said I "booby trapped" the pad. HE broke it!

01:22 PM #
Cooter's ol' lady Amber finally said somethin', "F*ckin' tell him I'll show him my gash, Alfonso!" Alfonso?!

01:25 PM #
Crazy Cooter said, "Told you not to call me that! That was my dad's name and it stays dead with that sh*tty motherf*cker!" Got real quiet.

01:28 PM #
Heard Cooter start cryin' real hard. Opened the door. Saw Amber walkin' down the stairs screamin' bad words. Helped Cooter off the ground.

01:30 PM #
Cleaned up Cooter's hand and got the glass out of it. Sat him on the couch. Dave came out of his room. Told him, "Sit down, Dave. Guy code."

01:35 PM #
Talked with Cooter 'til daylight. Passin' 'round a 2 liter of Dew. Put on some Allman Bros. Spoke of things I won't ever speak of again.