Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue Aug 28 2012

12:04 PM #
Was fixin the broken window last night. Had it propped open, tryin to get the glaze just right. Bottle fell over. Window smashed my fingers.

12:09 PM #
2 of my fingernails, well, those are gone. Other 2 look painted black like one of those weirdo vampire kids tryin' to be "different."

12:12 PM #
Thought I was gonna pass out from the pain. Had to lay down on the floor. Made Dave bring me a cold cloth and some Jimmer, cowboy style.

12:15 PM #
Dave said, "We don't got no washcloths! Cooter used 'em on his a-hole! How 'bout my undies?" Told him, "As long as they're clean, kimosabe."

12:20 PM #
Lyin' on the floor with your fingernails smashed and another man's wet undies on your head means it's time for Jim Beam & thinkin' you guys.

12:28 PM #
Wore a black leather glove on one hand over my mangled paw. Looks kinda badass? Like I'm in Motley Crue, or The Black Panthers. Both rock.