Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Wed Sep 05 2012

11:16 AM #
Woke up last night in the boat at work. Snuck out for a snooze break and crashed. Still towin' it around. Kinda comforting to have it there.

11:21 AM #
Nosey Lady's still up everyone's behind 'bout "gettin' caught up" at work. Calm down, we had ONE day off. Slow your roll, Pig Farm.

11:29 AM #
If YOU wanna work double hard after havin' a day off, then don't take a day off. The rest of us + ass = suck it. Do the math.

11:48 AM #
Lookin' out the work window at my boat is such a reminder that I could be doin' somethin' better. Like, anything.

11:52 AM #
Towin' a boat around everywhere isn't too good for gas milage, but it feels like a vacaish could break out at any second so it's worth it.

12:09 PM #
Stuff I could be doin' right now instead of work: #1 Startin' a babe restaurant like "Hooters," called, "Beefers," but sell ribs.

12:12 PM #
Stuff I could be doin' right now instead of work: #2 Headin' down to Cabo to hang with Sammy Hagar. Man.

12:14 PM #
Stuff I could be doin' right now instead of work: #3 Smashin' a buncha old toilets at the dump with a sledgehammer. Sounds kinda cool?

12:17 PM #
Stuff I could be doin' right now instead of work: #3 Gettin' my bod jacked to perfection.

12:23 PM #
Stuff I could be doin' right now instead of work: #5 Workin' on scene 4 of my Hollywood Guy Fieri Roadhouse movie script. $$$

12:26 PM #
Stuff I could be doin' right now instead of work: #6 Writin' a self help memoir, "Power Moves," to help other's selves.

12:35 PM #
Stuff I could be doin' right now instead of work: #7 Remodelin' the john at the pad in a Lions motif. Maybe put in a tv and mini fridge.

12:41 PM #
Stuff I could be doin' right now instead of work: #8, 9, 10 Helicopter lessons or readin' Penthouse or drinkin' cold ones. Sick of this.