Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Mon Sep 10 2012

09:51 AM #
Woke up in the boat again this mornin'. Was freezin'. Don't remember much after the Lions won. Don't remember much on Saturday night either.

09:55 AM #
Saturday night bro Al wanted to have a talk 'bout me "gettin' it together." Told him, "I got a 'rang, rockin' pony, babes...

09:56 AM #
...from coast to coast, I'm workin' on a film script, and I got 2 handles of Crown. I'm as together as a hot PB&J."

10:03 AM #
Told him, "I been sleepin' here in the boat in the parkin' lot, bro. I'm better than I've ever been."

10:05 AM #
Guess Al's wife don't like me hangin' out with him. Thinks I'm a bad influence. Ha! 'Nothin wrong with a bad boy rep, you guys.

10:09 AM #
Al said Ann asked if he'd stop by to check on me. Was worried. Said I "could be dead for days and she'd never know." Someone sounds lonely.

10:13 AM #
Ended up gettin' pretty smashed with Al. Then we decided to head out, Welzein Bad Boy style. Then...I...don't know what then. (?)

10:14 AM #
I gotta call Al. Crap crap crap! How'd I lose my bro?! Man.

08:05 PM #
My bro Al finally got back to me tonight. Guess things got kinda out of hand. He spent Saturday and Sunday in jail. His wife's real steamed.

08:11 PM #
Al said we were bombed, hangin' in The Bell parkin' lot. I was standin' on the hood of his car, doin' the Slow Peener to Night Moves.

08:15 PM #
The Slow Peener is like The Peener, but reserved for songs like Night Moves. It has a real "come hither" appeal during smooth macho jams.

08:20 PM #
Guess the cops pulled up and put the spot on me. Thought it was some babes with a flashlight. Started thrustin' extra smooth and carnal.

08:21 PM #
Al was holdin' a handle of Crown in the driver's seat. Cops hauled him in and let Dave come pick me up. Dave never mentioned this?!

08:24 PM #
'Cause it was Saturday, they made Al stay locked up 'til Monday. So stupid. Don't arrest someone if they can't get out in a timely fashion!

08:27 PM #
Asked Dave why he never brought up that Al got arrested?! He said "Well, YOU didn't. Thought it was family stuff." I was blacked out! Idiot.

08:37 PM #
Al said we can't hang anymore. His wife says I'm, "a loser and bring him down." He said he doesn't think that, but... Got kinda choked up.

08:40 PM #
Told Al, "Bro?" He said, I gotta go Karl.

08:40 PM #
Super bummed, you guys.