Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Fri Sep 14 2012

12:31 PM #
Happy Friday to ya, you guys. Gotta take advantage. Every Friday is the first Friday of the only Fridays left for the rest of your life.

12:44 PM #
Hit up Starbucks last night to get in the writin' zone, Hollywood style. Wasn't really any babes. Just a couple sad clowns on computers.

12:48 PM #
Brought my sixer to Starbucks. After I already had 2, worker said I "couldn't drink those in here." Told him, it's cool, they're premium.

12:50 PM #
I can understand Starbucks not wantin' you to drink cans of Natty Ice in the store, but I was drinkin' Sam Adams. I'm not some animal.

12:54 PM #
Ordered a small black coffee and poured it out in the trash. Filled it up with Sam Adams. They should just sell those in the first place.

12:59 PM #
Starbucks worker said, "Sir, I can see what you're doing." Told him, "Look the other way then, kimosabe. My Starbucks cup, MY beverage."

01:02 PM #
Worker said, "Sir, if you don't stop I'll have to call the cops." For drinkin' a BEER in Starbucks? You can't just make up rules. Idiot.

01:04 PM #
Decided to play it safe and went to finish my cold ones and write in the Starbucks parkin' lot. It's a cooler hangout anyway.

01:07 PM #
If Starbucks wants you hangin' out INSIDE, they need to sell cold ones. Otherwise, I'll in the lot, doin' MY thing.

01:15 PM #
If you work at Starbucks and a guy is drinkin' a beer, first thing you say shouldn't be, "you can't do that." It should be, "got an extra?"

01:29 PM #
Starbucks acts like they're so fancy. You sell hot black water and muffins. Calm down.

01:37 PM #
Starbucks wants to act like they're a library. So if I wanna drink booze in there and whizz on the toilet seat, that's my American right.

01:52 PM #
Almost time for my 5pm BM and the guys john is still outta commission. Don't think I clench it again today. Arb's was a mistake.

02:00 PM #
Man, the combo of Arb's lunch and just THINKIN' 'bout Starbucks makes my backdoor wanna explode with the heat of a thousand suns, you guys.