Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Sep 15 2012

04:50 PM #
Man, really chillin' hard right now, you guys.

09:49 PM #
Sometimes, in the blink of an eye, "chillin with few cold ones" turns into, "layin on the lawn, regrettin that you never owned a Trans-Am."

09:53 PM #
Stars were so bright tonight. Like the Big Man said, "go on, take a toke of the green, knowwhatImean?" Ha! Man, so high.

09:54 PM #
So on weed now, you guys.

10:03 PM #
Guess Dave got some weed from Crazy Cooter. Doesn't feel like "weed," feels like, "drugs." So money. Wanna be like this forever.

10:05 PM #
If it's just "weed", not "drugs", you can't die from it, right? Arms don't feel like arms, you guys.

10:09 PM #
Remember Ernest P. Worrell? Man, they don't make 'em like that anymore, you guys.Gonna watch "Ernest Goes To Camp" now. Got the VHS.

10:19 PM #
Thing about bein' high on marijuana is, it ain't about the weed that you're on, it's about the you, that's on the weed, you guys.

10:38 PM #
I'M THE BEST IN THE WORLD, YOU GUYS. So money. So badass. Feel like I could bench press a thousand tractors.

10:42 PM #
Callin' Ann. Tellin' her how she missed out on The President and CEO of Bad Boy City, USA. WOOOOOO!!!!!

10:50 PM #
Gonna try to sync up Ozzy's "No More Tears" album with "Ernest Goes To Camp" Seems like a winning combination.

10:53 PM #
If you watch Ernest Goes To Camp with the sound off, and Ozzy's "Time After Time" blaring, your life's on point. Don't like that? Suck it.

10:58 PM #
Ann won't answer. Looks like 20 more phone calls + barnyard noises = IN YOUR FACE. Goin' out in the boat to chill the most.