Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Thu Oct 18 2012

11:23 AM #
Vomited in the kitchen sink yesterday at work. Nosey Lady walked in, saw me, then just walked out. So rude. What a no class sow. I was ill.

11:26 AM #
What if I barfed 'til I was dead? It could happen. Lots of rockers die that way. Kinda cool?

11:29 AM #
Whether I was havin' a puke death or not, Nosey Lady shoulda asked if I needed help. Hurlin' in the kitchen sink suggests an emergency.

11:41 AM #
Took off early yesterday. If no one cares if you're losin' your guts in a sink, no on cares if you're there. Actually a pretty good test?

11:46 AM #
Went and picked up this bad boy and some accessories. Gonna be funky fresh look like Craig Sager for tomorrow. http://t.co/pY3L9oAh

11:52 AM #
Nothin' like a turquoise blazer to scream, I'm rockin' power moves from coast to coast, 24/7, 365, in the USA. Open on Sundays, you guys.

12:00 PM #
Really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

01:45 PM #
Why are we still at work?! The Tigers are on. Sick of this slave cage bullcrap. America should be in Cold One City.

01:57 PM #
Everyone across the USA should walk out of work for baseball and freedom right now. It's our birthright. And I'll go first. Later, corncobs.

02:47 PM #
WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

02:49 PM #
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

06:19 PM #
Bless you boys. Feel like I could drink a thousand beers right now. With sweet tears of joy, dried upon my face. Go Tigers, you guys.

08:03 PM #
Gotta give my condolences to Joe Girardi, you guys. I lost my Dad when I was 15. He wasn't around after that. Was pretty tough.

08:05 PM #
It was just me, my bro Al and my Mom. Always had to work to make ends meet. Paper routes, shovelin' snow. Don't remember not havin' a job.

08:10 PM #
Life's not always sunshine & daffodils. So if you can get a feel good when your team wins, grab it and hold on 'til it ain't warm no more.

08:20 PM #
Things are tough for alotta good Michigan folks right now. Tigers goin' to the fall classic is more important than just baseball, you guys.

08:23 PM #
You can't just take a crap on Michigan and sweep it under the rug. It's a beautiful place filled with good people. It helped build America.

08:25 PM #
Man, I need a stiff drink right now. Kinda bombed. Nothin' goes better with being bombed than a stiff drink, you guys. Crank up the Seger.

08:28 PM #
Roll me away. The the promised land. With the heat of a thousand suns. http://t.co/olPViRRv