Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue Oct 23 2012

11:15 AM #
Feelin' pretty good 'bout my big b-day today, you guys. Might have to have a solo celebraish.

11:34 AM #
Decided to start my b-day off right in the success department. Came up with some new hamburg ideas for Guy Fieri:

01:47 PM #
Been just sittin' at the pad, waitin' on a b-day ring. 'Nothin. Wonder where Dave's been? Might head out soon. Get into some Bad Boy crap.

01:50 PM #
Wonder what Crazy Cooter's up to? Might be just chillin' out? Should cruise over. See if he wants to get b-day nasty.

01:57 PM #
Never babe prowled with Crazy Cooter buddy style before. Could be a blast. Long as he can keep the "cooze" and "slizz" comments to himself.

02:03 PM #
Don't know the difference between "slizz" and "cooze." Have to ask Crazy Cooter. Might be a disease code, you guys.

02:11 PM #
If you wanna incite carnal passions, "Hey babe, lookin' thick 'n natural" works just fine. No need for terms like "cooze." Show some class.

02:16 PM #
Headin' to Crazy Cooter's. Let's roll, nasty boy b-day style. Heavy 'logne. Shined my 'rang. Tight pony. My swag is so on point, you guys.