Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Nov 04 2012

10:16 AM #
Feel like I drank a thousand beers last night, you guys.

10:18 AM #
Just somethin' 'bout wakin' up early on a Sunday with a rapid heartbeat like you're gonna die, to make you truly feel alive.

10:20 AM #
Why does bein' hungover make Van Halen's "Poundcake" sound so much more badass? One of nature's mysteries I guess. Time for a cold one.

10:24 AM #
Listenin' to Van Halen's "Poundcake" over and over, and watchin' the Lions, sets a real man on fire with emotions from ancient times.

10:25 AM #
Man, Michael Anthony's bass lines are so thick. Like an ethnic babe's caboose with all the toppings.

10:28 AM #
Dave said this just might be the best Sunday ever. He might be right. And I might just have to rock it all night long. For the USA.

10:32 AM #
Sure, Dave destroyed the john with Red Barron 'rrhea but I'm feelin' so money I can just look the other way. Hit it with Kaboom later.

10:36 AM #
Wanna give a "finger gun salute & ease down the shades" to all the carnal babes from coast to coast right now, you guys.

10:57 AM #
Take my hand, let's be forever.

11:07 AM #
Told Dave I'm thinkin' 'bout gettin' a tatt. Maybe Eddie Van Halen's red white and black Frankenstrat? Let the babes know I'm boss.

11:11 AM #
If the Lions win, I'm gettin' a tatt of Eddie Van Halen's 1984 guitar. Decided. Wonder if Crazy Cooter knows a guy?

11:13 AM #
A Van Halen tatt lets one man look another man in the eye and say, "I own the block, young man."

11:57 AM #
When it comes to the people, America's pretty much the best in the USA, you guys.