Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Wed Nov 21 2012

11:32 AM #
Been runnin' around gettin' supplies for the 'Ving celebraish. People are pretty nasty right now. Not me. Brought me a shoptail for sippin'.

11:34 AM #
Just put some booze in a container that doesn't look like it's booze, then go shoppin.' Now you got a shoptail.

11:46 AM #
Ran my cart into some gal's buttcheeks at the Kroger. Was an accident. She had mega buttcheeks. They were all over the aisle.

11:49 AM #
Wide Buttcheeks turned around and said, "Hey, watch where you're goin' Stroke Lotion!" Seemed unnecessary.

11:52 AM #
How can a person be named, "Stroke Lotion?" My name's Karl. K-Money if you're nasty.

11:56 AM #
Took a pull off my shoptail. Said, "Listen Grimace, why don't you put back the turkeys you're smugglin' in them stretch pants and can it."

12:05 PM #
Traded insults for 5 minutes. Then it got weird. Almost a carnal vibe. Got Mega Buttcheeks' number. Mighta been buzzed off my shoptail.

12:07 PM #
I don't need booze to lay down my vibe on a babe, but it opens up the door to new surprises of just how smooth you can be without thinkin'.

12:30 PM #
Just heard Kid Rock is playin' the Lions' halftime show tomorrow. So pumped, you guys. So. Friggin'. Pumped.