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DadBoner - Tue Dec 18 2012

01:47 PM #
Went over to Ann's last night with Dave. That corncob Gary's Regal was in the driveway. Made some whizz all over it, tag team style.

01:54 PM #
Gary's door was open, so Dave whizzed on the driver's seat. Said he "had to get it on." Might be illegal? Not sure. Seems too specific.

02:02 PM #
When you soak another man's driver's seat with whizz, they'll be watchin' their back for days, you guys.

02:22 PM #
Had a little celebraish at Outback Steakhouse with Dave after we whizzed up Gary's Regal. Worked up a mean natural vandalism hunger.

02:27 PM #
We both took down the Lob & Shrimp Topped Victoria's Filet. Man, such bold flavors. Really paired well with the Top Shelf Margs.

02:30 PM #
Finished up at Outback with several Gingerbread Cookie 'Tini's. Guess they're an Aussie holiday tradish. Didn't pair well with the margs.

02:33 PM #
Dave got pretty ill. Barfed up his Lob Shrimp Steak entree and the Margs & Gingerbread Cookie 'Tinis all over the Outback booth. Disaster.

02:36 PM #
The server said, "Oh my God! Sir, please go to the restroom!" Told him, we PAID, so it's chill. Plus, it's only Outback eats barf, mate.

02:41 PM #
Outback needs a warning to not drink Top Shelf Margs AND Gingerbread 'Tinis in the same sitting. Felt bad for Dave. Barfed all his sauce.

02:44 PM #
If you upchuck your booze in a restaurant before it makes you bombed, you shouldn't have to pay. Should be a law, you guys.

02:52 PM #
'Round the holidays, everyone barfs several times. It's unavoidable. No need to judge others when you'll be hurlin' sooner or later too.

10:35 PM #
Dave just woke me up messin' around packin' up canned goods. Said the end of world is in a few days and wants to get prepared. Idiot.

10:36 PM #
If the end of the world is comin', stashin' cans of Dinty Moore isn't gonna stop anything. At least eat it now so it doesn't go to waste.

10:38 PM #
Dave also thought the end of the world was LAST year. So stupid. It could be ANY year. That's why I rock 24/7, 365. Open on Sundays.

10:42 PM #
Dave said the Mayans have some calendar that says the world ends on Friday. If anything it'd be on a Tuesday. Tuesdays are worthless anyway.

10:49 PM #
Where'd the Mayans get a "calendar" anway? The ancient mall? "It say on carved rock Corvette calendar that world end on Dec. 21, 2012!"

10:54 PM #
I'm not takin' end of the world advice from 10,000 years ago half monkey people who probably ate their own stinky, you guys.