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DadBoner - Sun Dec 23 2012

06:35 PM #
Kinda havin' some issues with events from Crazy Cooter's, "For The End of Times and All That Dumb F*ckin' Sh*t, Bash."

06:37 PM #
The celebraish was rockin'. Crazy Cooter even went bonkers and sprung for like 6 kinds of D'Reets on his own dime. Real generous of Coot.

06:42 PM #
Any celebraish worth a hot crap goes all out with AT LEAST 4 kinds of D'Reets, you guys. I like variety when I'm munchin'.

06:53 PM #
So anyway, I kinda dozed off when I was chillin' in the hot corner with my private bottle of Crown, waitin' for the babes to slide by.

06:59 PM #
When I woke up, Crazy Cooter was makin' aggressive from behind passions to Biggie Smalls in the living room while Ratface was takin' pics.

07:03 PM #
Crazy Cooter kept screamin', "I am f*cking you! I am f*cking you!" It was pretty nasty, and not arousing at all in my guy zone.

07:10 PM #
Don't know why Ratface was takin' pics of Cooter givin' Biggie Smalls a romantic insert. It's a memory you wanna puke out your brain.

07:21 PM #
Thought it'd be best to split so I grabbed a bag of D'Reets for the road. Ratface said, "It's cool to perv on your crank, Welzein."

07:24 PM #
Just 'cause 2 folks are havin' carnal passions in a room with you, it doesn't mean you should "perv on your crank." Not my style.

07:33 PM #
Guess Biggie Smalls ripped a thick beef when Crazy was still physically engaged in her bod 'cause he started gaggin' pretty bad.

07:36 PM #
Coot said, "Ah f*ck! That is f*ckin' rank, motherf*cker! You got sh*t all on my d*ck!" Hurled all over Biggie Smalls' back. I had to go.

07:39 PM #
When an overweight gal gets hurled on after she has an accidental backdoor release on a pal's privates, the party's over, you guys.

07:59 PM #
Turned around to get out the door and noticed Beantooth pervin' on his crank in a chair. Didn't even stop after the Cooter puke situaish.

08:02 PM #
A man shouldn't tug on his peener when there's a post carnal throw up situaish in motion. Guess Beantooth craves the strange and nasty.

08:05 PM #
From where Ratface was takin' pics, think I might be in the backround of Coot and Biggie Smalls gettin' carnal. Kinda concerning.

08:08 PM #
Sure, on the streets it's cool to be casual with an adults only one on one carnal passions barf sesh, but I'm a family man in private.

08:10 PM #
Gonna hit up Ann 'bout the Christmas celebraish. Better step up my cold one intake with a side of Jim to be loose and conversational.