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DadBoner - Wed Dec 26 2012

06:34 PM #
Really hurtin'. Christmas 2012 pretty much rocked it, you guys.

06:37 PM #
Never got any word from Ann about the Christmas celebraish. Guess she forgot to hit me up. Pretty rude. Decided to just cruise over.

06:43 PM #
Hooked it up with a tall Vernor's & Jim Beam for the drive over. Always takes me back with the classic bold flavors of Christmas past.

06:52 PM #
That corncob Gary's Buick Regal was in the driveway. Got pretty steamed. Sure he told Ann I couldn't come by. Bet she craves my touch.

06:56 PM #
If I was another guy, I wouldn't want me in the general area of my gal either. Babes crave my masculine vibes. That's a natural fact.

06:59 PM #
Plus, Gary knows I already made it carnal with Ann at least several times. Has to really burn him how I already put it to her hot 'n proper.

07:11 PM #
Gary answered the door. He said, "I don't think this is a good idea." I pointed at my Vernor's and Jim Beam and told him, zip it, sunshine.

07:14 PM #
When a real man is buzzed to perfection on Christmas mornin' bourbon, everyone else is just in the way, you guys.

07:21 PM #
Ann came out, I told her, lets get busy on the gifts! Showed her the WWE wrestling belt I got for my son. In the box and everything.

07:27 PM #
Ann said, "Karl, to be honest we kinda just hoped you'd get drunk and not show up." Really hurt. I'm not some lowlife, I'm always on point.

07:37 PM #
Gave the wrestling belt to Gary, told him, "Fine, just give this to MY son. You know, the one I made with Ann's body." Such a power move.

07:40 PM #
Told Gary before I left, "And by the way, hope you enjoyed the whizz." Clutched my man veggies and gave him a bad boy wink. So money.

07:55 PM #
Decided to just rock it solo for Christmas. Made TWO Red Baron's. Supreme. Kicked 'em up with my own 3 cheese blend and secret spices.

08:06 PM #
Took down a whole bottle of Beam AND a bunch of cold ones, plus most of the 'za. It was Christmas done right.

08:11 PM #
Last year, I hooked up with Peanut on Christmas. Shed a few tears about it over my Beam. Wish he didn't die in my car. Still busts me up.

08:11 PM #
Peanut. RIP. Never forget, you guys.