Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Fri Dec 28 2012

12:00 PM #
Happy Friday to ya, you guys. Comin' up on the last weekend of the year. Gotta make sure to rock it from coast to coast.

12:23 PM #
Thought about workin' on a NYE resoloosh, but it's tough to pin down a problem when your life is pretty much on point with perfection.

12:27 PM #
When your life is piled high, with all the toppings, all a man can really ask for is a ice cold one to wash it down, you guys.

12:42 PM #
I mean, sure, I've had some minor problems this year, but they were out of my control. I can't be expected to play God and all that crap.

12:44 PM #
Would I have preferred that my best homeless friend not have died in my car? Yes. But I don't pull the strings.

12:48 PM #
Is my boat currently knocked over on its side in the parkin' lot, covered in dirty snow? Yes. But I'd certainly rather it not be.

12:52 PM #
Is the windshield smashed on my 'Bring? Yes. You think I like drivin' leaned over to the side? It's not very chill.

12:56 PM #
Was I fired from my job? Yes. Wasn't my fault. They took a million years to fix the guy's john! Really screwed me bent over.

01:01 PM #
Did my wife divorce me this year? Yes. Would I have preferred us to stay carnal and turn up the steam? Yes. But she didn't. Her loss.

01:16 PM #
But, man, I did alotta cool crap this year. Don't remember much of it 'cause I was rockin' too hard. Why I write most of it down.

01:24 PM #
There's no need to remember EVERYTHING. That's what notebooks and Arb's napkins are for. They're brain paper to free up thinkin' space.

01:37 PM #
With some help from the Big Man, if I crank up my bad boy swag, and focus my carnal vibes, 2013 could be the year to crush everyone's face.

01:42 PM #
Look out 2013. K-Money's comin', with the heat of a thousand suns, you guys.

01:54 PM #
Dave just said we should try and drink 100 of those BL Azulitas, tag team style. Gonna go for it. Last weekend of 2012, let's roll.