Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue Jan 15 2013

08:35 AM #
Got pulled over last night for expired tags on the 'Bring. Also there were some concerns over my windshield and headlight. Kept it chill.

08:38 AM #
Told the officer, "No worries on makin' the necessary repairs, kimosabe." Gave him the fingergun point & wink. Let him know I was sincere.

08:40 AM #
It's not wrong to lie to a police officer if they believe what you're tellin' 'em, you guys.

08:45 AM #
Police said, "Sir, you have a Harley Davidson sticker over your left headlight." Said, "Yeah. Paid Squirrel 60 bones for that. "

08:49 AM #
"...I wasn't gonna never pay Squirrel. But I got pretty smiley on some Crown a few ticks back and kicked him down so he'd be chill."

08:54 AM #
The officer saw several Busch empties in the backseat. Asked if I was drinkin'. Told him "I'm just tryin' to see my kids!" Saw that on Cops.

08:58 AM #
Told the officer 'bout how I been havin' some tough times with Dave's pee pee stains, plus tryin' to get me a swag job. Just let me go.

09:02 AM #
"Laws" are just there to stop the bad guys. When a cop knows a good guy bad boy is just tryin to get by, there's a mutual respect.

09:10 AM #
I coulda made a good cop, but I probably woulda been in trouble with the chief all the time for renegade power moves on the streets.

09:15 AM #
Think I woulda been a better private dic than a cop. Like Joe Hallenbeck in Last Boy Scout. Man.

09:17 AM #
Wonder why they never made Last Boy Scout 2? Seems like a no brainer. Might have to make some calls.