Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Jan 26 2013

12:58 PM #
Crazy Cooter's don't look so good. Always, looked like a piece of garbage. Now, more like garbage that had a stroke. Kinda concerning.

01:02 PM #
Tried to rock it at the hospital. Brought Triscuits & mayo, 4 Hot 'n Ready's, BL Nums, my boombox. Real bedside celebraish.

01:08 PM #
Dr. said Cooter had a "small stroke." Dave went bonkers and started mimin' solo carnal passions with a weak peener. Just some guy humor.

01:21 PM #
Coot's Dr. was kind of a load. Said to turn off my boombox "immediately." Told him, "Immediately's gonna have to be after Turn The Page."

01:28 PM #
Dr. told us we couldn't drink cold ones in the hospital. Is that some sort of "rule?" "Rules" have to make sense or they're just "words."

01:32 PM #
Said, look, Dr. Cookiedough (bod was chubs. burned him.) This is my man Crazy Cooter, and deserves top care from a babe Dr. who can chill.

01:35 PM #
I ain't one to just stop doin' crap 'cause some corncob opens their gob with 411. Never have been. Never will, you guys.

01:38 PM #
Dave said, yeah, where's the Dr. babes that like to get busy in the janitor closet, "Dave's Anatomy" style. Was kinda cool? Not sure.

01:44 PM #
Dave said, "My peener needs a thermomMEATer and my sweats are Febreze fresh with ZERO pee pee stains. Shook it hard after my whizz."

01:46 PM #
Don't know where Dave picked up callin' his peener his "meat" but it needs to stop in public. At home is fine if I'm not eatin' I guess.

01:55 PM #
Me & Dave were asked to leave by a rather large soul brother. Dave needs to learn you can't address your guy zone if someone don't crave it.

01:57 PM #
Rocked it in the hospital parkin' lot for a few hours. Eatin' 'za, sippin' blue lightning, and peepin' babes. Got some real looks!

02:02 PM #
Gave a K-Money "what's up" to a nurse babe with a healthy caboose. Said, "F*ck you, mothaf*cka." Musta had a bad day, or it mighta been on.

02:05 PM #
If a babe doesn't crave a one on one caress in a parkin' lot when you've got 'za AND cold ones, someone musta died or some crap you guys.

02:10 PM #
Life ain't always easy, and whether it's a babe that don't crave me, or a corncob with a beef, I'm gonna keep chillin' the most. USA.