Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Feb 03 2013

07:15 AM #
Happy Supes to ya, you guys.

07:17 AM #
The Supes is when we all come together as the USA and let the rest of the world know that we're the best and they can pretty much suck it.

07:19 AM #
Supes Tip: Use some damp TP to wipe off the BM splatter on the underside of your toilet seat. Lets your guests know you're not some animal.

09:49 AM #
Just wrote this on the kitchen wall, bad boy style. Pretty much the rules for the Supes, you guys.

10:32 AM #
Supes Celebraish, 2013. Let's roll, USA style, you guys.

10:45 AM #
Puke City!

10:46 AM #
Why did that babe make out with that slob? Man, if I was there, it woulda been on.

10:52 AM #
Dave said Ray Lewis helped murder some people. Sounds made up. Think he's mad 'cause I put 5 bones on the Ravens 'cause he wanted 9ers.

10:53 AM #
Don't really care who wins. I'm a Detroit Lions man, and that's good enough for me.

10:55 AM #
What kinda party has just Pepsi? So stupid.

10:55 AM #
"Hey, come to my hot Pepsi celebraish!" Beat it, stupid.

10:57 AM #
Whoa, lotta smokin' caramel babes in the Bud Soul Kings advert. So on point with the streets.

11:07 AM #
Guy Fieri's not in Fast & Furious 6 ?! Kinda concerning. Musta passed on the script.

11:14 AM #
Whelp, don't know if I can buy D'reets again now, you guys.

11:16 AM #
Sure, I'm a modern man and the alt lifestyle for adults is totally cool. But a corncob in a princess costume don't scream, "D-reets."

11:25 AM #
Man, the guy in that BL commersh woulda got smashed in the face in my neck of the woods, walkin' around like some idiot doofus.

11:28 AM #
Why does the Rock have a milk commersh? Ain't no commersh with Stone Cold for cold ones! So stupid. It's the Supes, not preschool, you guys.

11:33 AM #
Wonder what Guy Fieri's doin' for the Supes? Probably crushin' a thousand babes and kickin' up bold flavors that'd make the sun explode.

11:37 AM #
Who's this load? No.

11:37 AM #
Nice girl car, load.

11:42 AM #
Whoa, that fatso in the chair looks like Dave! Ha!

11:48 AM #
No one should wear Sketchers. Ever. Unless you wanna win the corncob of the century award and gross out babes, you guys.

12:00 PM #
Time to mute the tube, crank up the Seger, and peep Beyonso's fly caramel caboose for the USA, you guys.

12:01 PM #
Whoa, you guys. Jeez.

12:17 PM #
So many caramel honeys. Just goin' wild with desire and carnal cravings, you guys.

12:18 PM #
These smokin' cocoa babes are burnin' with the heat of a thousand suns.

12:22 PM #
Feelin' so carnal, from ancient times of the cave people for this Beyonso babe. Tube's on mute with "Hollywood Nights" crankin', but still.

12:43 PM #
Dave said, "Ray Lewis is a murderer. If the Ravens win, it'd be a sin to accept his 5 bones on the Supes bet." No one BELIEVES that.

12:46 PM #
Just 'cause Ray Lewis is a piece of trash (allegedly. no one can be sure. might be chill?) Doesn't mean I can't win 5 bones on the Ravens.

01:28 PM #
That Gag-Em style corncob needs to take a vacation to a basement in the middle of nowhere, where no one cares. Idiot.

01:34 PM #
This loser ain't scorin' with no hot babe 'cause of Speed Stick, you guys.

01:36 PM #
Dave said,"9ers are gonna come back 'cause God don't like murderers." Like the Big Man cares about people who aren't poors. Idiot.

01:36 PM #
Is this guy gonna get carnal with that horse? Whoa.

01:37 PM #
Guess 'Weiser is cool with guys makin' passions with horses. Kinda concerning?

01:48 PM #
Dave said that Gag-em corncob ripped off "The Peener." Might have to get involved with a lawyer, you guys.

01:59 PM #
America, you guys.

01:59 PM #
If you ain't for America, suck it. Suck it so hard.

02:30 PM #
"Hey, I'm some jerk." "I'm some jerk! Let's waste everyone's time."

02:35 PM #
Man, Nosey Lady is kickin' me vibes pretty hard. Mighta put on too much "logne?

02:45 PM #

02:45 PM #