Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Feb 09 2013

09:34 AM #
Really hurtin'. Feel like I drank a thousand margs last night, you guys. Top shelf of course. I'm not some animal.

09:43 AM #
Sure, everyone thinks about killin' themself 'round this time of the year. But with Chili's $20 Dinner for 2, you'll be glad you didn't.

09:52 AM #
I really rocked it at Chili's. Dave didn't rock it as hard. Spent the whole time rappin' to some nighttime babe.

09:54 AM #
The difference between daytime babes and nighttime babes mostly comes down to sunlight, you guys.

09:56 AM #
Guess Dave's supposed to meet that nighttime babe for "coffee." So stupid. No carnal passions EVER came out of "gettin' coffee."

10:01 AM #
Consensual eroticism with babes and gettin' bombed go hand in hand. It's what real adults do. "Coffee" is more for "who cares" chit chat.

10:05 AM #
If I wanna get loose and conversational with a babe, I'm gonna get ripe on the sauce first. "Coffee" is more for blowin' up the john.

10:08 AM #
"Sorry babe, all this coffee and ignorin' your baloney talk has got me hurtin' for a crap." That's not a date. It's a nightmare.

10:14 AM #
Stayin' single and ready to mingle until AFTER Feb. 14th just makes good financial sense, you guys.