Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Thu Feb 14 2013

06:09 AM #
Really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

06:19 AM #
Wanna say a special 'Tines Day "what's up" to all the thick & juicy, all natural, USA babes from coast to coast. XOXO, -Karl

08:30 AM #
'Tines Day Tip: Keep your pipes on point tonight by duckin' in the john for some 'shups. When you come out with glistening pythons? It's on.

08:33 AM #
'Tines Day Tip: Start boozin' now, then hit the bar late. No need to waste time on green lonelies. Let 'em get ripe before you pick 'em.

08:35 AM #
'Tines Day Tip: Grunt out a preemie before you get nasty on the babe hunt. Nothin' worse than a mid-carnal crap break to stall passions.

10:44 AM #
'Tines Day Tip: If you're gonna treat a babe to a frozen 'za today, make sure it's "supreme." Let that special someone know you care.