Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Wed Mar 06 2013

06:45 AM #
Feelin' pretty much on point today, you guys. Haven't blown a hot loosie since last night. And my bod is off the chain with flu fitness.

06:50 AM #
Picked up a copy of the new Swimsuit Ish today. Whoa. That Kate Upton babe's chest beefers are out of bounds with Vitamin Health.

06:57 AM #
Kate Upton is a thick, generous portion of a babe, piled high with every topping. Real nice smile too. Man. She's the full season package.

06:59 AM #
Pretty sure Kate Upton was on last year's Swimsuit Ish too. Can't be sure. Dave lost my copy. He can forget about seein' this one.

07:05 AM #
Dave said he's not allowed to look at the Swimsuit Ish 'cause Sue doesn't appreciate it. Man, any gal with that attitude can beat it.

07:08 AM #
If your babe don't want you lookin' at the Swimsuit Ish, what's next? No weekday cold ones? No 'roni on your 'za? No thanks, you guys.

07:34 AM #
Kate Upton's chest beefers ain't just a carnal thing. It's about beauty. Same as starin' at the American flag, wavin' at dusk.

07:40 AM #
If you're the kinda corncob who don't like Kate Upton, hit the bricks to Mexico. I'm sure they have some dirty ally you could sleep in.

07:53 AM #
Dave needs to learn that your babe can't edit out what other babes you can peep. It's instinct to stay on the hunt, even if you're eatin'.