Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Thu Apr 04 2013

07:18 AM #
Really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

08:00 AM #
Called Dave today to say I'm glad he isn't dead. Dave said, "is that a threat?! Did YOU kick down my door?!" and hung up. Kinda concerning?

08:08 AM #
Wonder if Dave thinks I'm out to put him down? I mean, sure, I've wanted him dead, but not "forever" dead. Just for a week or so.

08:11 AM #
'Course, Crazy Cooter tried to murder me, but that was an accident involving an over serving of booze and a 'rrhea prank. Nothin' personal.

08:26 AM #
Crazy Cooter said if I wanna crash at his pad any longer, it's "ass, grass, or cash, motherf@cker." Ass?

08:30 AM #
When a pal asks you for "ass, grass, or cash," the most important part is, WHOSE ass, you guys.

08:35 AM #
Told Coot, "I wouldn't be here if you didn't try to kill me by stabbin' me with your blade in my back meat, kimosabe."

08:38 AM #
Coot said, "I f@ckin' wouldn't a tried to kill your ass if you f@ckin' weren't spraying fake wet sh*t all over my steps!" Makes sense?

08:40 AM #
Sometimes old friends need to have a serious guy to guy convo 'bout diarrhea and murderin' each other, you guys.