Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Apr 13 2013

09:00 AM #
Went to Ann's last night and Dave and Sue were there. Said they needed to talk about my "behavior." You mean, "chillin'?" So steamed.

09:01 AM #
You don't shoot on Captain Karl, you guys.

09:03 AM #
Nothin' bites your peener like gettin' fresh for a possible carnal rendezvous only to find out some babe wants to smoke your lifestyle.

09:09 AM #
Ann said she "wouldn't have any more contact with me if I couldn't get help." Dave said, "ditto." Ditto?! Idiot.

09:14 AM #
Told Ann, "Why, so you can keep your bod unsatisfied with that piece of trash Gary's weak guy zone?" Shut her down.

09:28 AM #
Ann said, "It didn't work out with Gary. This isn't about that." Said, then Dave & Sue should hit the bricks and I'll show you the macho.

09:31 AM #
A man can makes his money moves on a babe when there's two other dopes in the room gape mouthin' like they ate a jar of peanut butter.

09:33 AM #
Told Ann, "It's one on one if you want attention from the all beef bad boy. Now where's the cold ones. I got a thirst to satisfy."

09:35 AM #
Dave and Sue got up and left. Flipped 'em the freedom rockets, popped a squat on the couch, and the top on a cold one.

09:39 AM #
Told Ann, there, now it's comfy cozy. Let's rap. Flipped a Nicorette in my jaw for convo freshness.

09:41 AM #
Ann said, "Karl, I don't even know what you're talking about anymore." Told her, "So. My vibes tell the whole story." Smartened her up.

09:42 AM #
That's when Ann laid one on me like it was 1999.