Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Wed May 01 2013

04:45 PM #
Overheard one of my daughters callin' me a "lowlife" tonight. Really hurt. Was just thinkin' of reachin' out for a convo.

04:52 PM #
Ann hasn't given me the greenlight to rap with our kids, but that doesn't mean I'm not ready to step on the gas, pedal to the metal.

04:53 PM #
When you've been away from your kids' lives for an amount of time you can't recall, it's a good sign you should share a meal or some crap.

05:00 PM #
Good parenting is about quality, not quantity. Bein' there ALL the time is a snoozefest. I'm like the McRib. Only for a LIMITED time.

05:03 PM #
Might have to throw a little celebraish this weekend. Really blow it out. Let the fam know, "The Captain Karl" is back on the menu.

05:07 PM #
If I was a sammy, I'd be piled high with toppings that haven't been invented yet. All served with a side of premium satisfaction.