Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Mon Jun 10 2013

08:09 PM #
Started on a new job site today. Kept to myself, lone wolf style. Still kinda reelin' from Friday's celebraish with Bean Tooth & the boys.

08:14 PM #
Bean Tooth lead us out in the middle of nowhere to some beat up white house with bars on the window. Kinda concerning.

08:20 PM #
Looked like a scene of multiple unsolved murders. Turned out to be a private gentleman's establishment. Could be both though? Not sure.

08:29 PM #
Walked inside. Floors were all dirt. Just one "babe" in the corner in a Jeff Gordon tee and no underpants, smokin' a More. Pretty raw scene.

08:36 PM #
Ozzy's "See You On The Other Side" warmed my soul, but for a den of carnal eroticism, alot of wet death seemed to drip from the ceiling.

08:40 PM #
The babe staggered up to the multiple milk crate stage to get topless. I showed kindness with applause and a smile. Least I could do.

08:45 PM #
When someone's lackin' in talent and leanin' towards humiliation, it's best to just lie with a "good job," but avoid eye contact.

08:48 PM #
The scene went from "depths of hell" to "pretty ok actually" when another grossout babe appeared with 50 cent Busch cans in a cooler.

08:51 PM #
Any failing dump of an establishment should just sell cheap cold ones for cheap. It's a business model that make dollars AND sense, you guys

08:59 PM #
Was around my 5th or 6th Busch that I realized they were playin' Ozzmosis in its entirety. And, that I hadn't grunted out my Arby' stinky.

09:03 PM #
Had to go down in the basement to use the john. So rank. Wasn't pleasant. Also, it was a no door, so cup your peener & veggies, situaish.

09:05 PM #
Sure, I've taken my share of BMs in bars without doors on the stalls. Happens in places with rich character. Don't make it chill though.

09:08 PM #
It takes a professional bad boy to groan out a crap in plain site while some other boozed up stranger is sayin', "Christ, that's nasty."

09:13 PM #
When I went back upstairs, I couldn't find Bean Tooth, so I went to grab a cig from the 'Bring. Tooth was in my ride. With the More babe.

09:17 PM #
Bean Tooth was engaged in oral carnal passions on grossout #1. Wasn't advisable. Certainly not if $ was exchanged. Definitely not in my car.

09:21 PM #
I went back in the unsolved murder gentlemen's club and got a quatro round of double fist stacks. Reality couldn't leave soon enough.

09:31 PM #
Petey bummed me 3 reds. I chained 'em with knocks from a pint of Beam we snuck in. More Ozzy played. No More Tears this time. So thick.

09:36 PM #
The second grossout asked if I wanted a lapper for 5 bucks. Told her, "How 'bout just another cold one and some friendly convo?"

09:41 PM #
We sat there sippin' brews and talkin' 'bout nothin'. She wasn't attractive. We both knew it. But casual company ain't always about looks.

09:53 PM #
Ain't nothin' wrong with bein' lonely sometimes. Lonely + booze = new friendships you didn't plan for, you guys.