Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Wed Jun 26 2013

08:24 AM #
Got up early. Had a 7am concrete pour at the new site. Leg was hurtin' but you gotta suck it up. Smoothin' out mud waits for no man.

08:28 AM #
They been lettin' me try my hand at finishin' concrete 'cause Bean Tooth's always sick. My back is a deep cocoa brown. My pipes on swoll.

08:33 AM #
Somethin' so badass about battlin' thousand of pounds of mud with a trowel and float. There's a real brotherhood of concrete warriors.

08:40 AM #
Everybody should have to work 12 hrs of hot hard labor for a week before they complain' 'bout their 'puter desk job that has a neck pillow.

08:49 AM #
Was thinkin' 'bout my mail that I found in Dave's trash. One messed up piece was from some book company. Soaked in my blood.

08:54 AM #
Think about a year and a half ago, I got bombed and sent in a bunch of this crap I write down. Don't recall, due to the bombing.

08:59 AM #
'Bout a year and a half ago, I got bombed and sent in a bunch of this crap I write down. Don't recall, due to the bombing.

09:05 AM #
This letter says some company is gonna make my book. Don't know if it's real deal. Gotta make some calls after I flush out my leg wounds.

09:08 AM #
If I was a hot shot author, who knows where my life could go? Could be a millionaire AND have a new Camaro? Man.

09:44 AM #
Talked to some babe named Shanno on the horn. Told me she's been tryin' to get ahold of me. Said, "carnally?" Think she caught my vibes.

09:49 AM #
Told Shanno, "Don't shove crap up my pipe. Where's my Camaro?" Authors like Guy Fieri drive Camaros. It's how you know they're authors.

09:54 AM #
Shanno said I have to do some "Reddit AMA" thing on a 'puter today. Sounds like a scam, but gonna check it out. Could be babes there?

09:58 AM #
Guess I'm doin' a REDDIT AMA at 3pm EST today, you guys. http://t.co/KXM0mCWhEc Better get some cold ones.

02:29 PM #
Feel like I could drink a thousand beers right now, you guys.