Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Thu Jun 27 2013

10:02 AM #
Really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

08:59 PM #
Bummed. Called Ann 'bout my big book deal. She said, "Don't call here drunk again, Karl." Hung up. I was KINDA boozed, but still.

09:04 PM #
Told Bean Tooth, might not workin' much longer after my mucho dinero starts pilin' in from Power Moves. Never seen anyone laugh so hard.

09:08 PM #
Bean Tooth said, "Power moves? You gonna get paid for takin' your nasty craps now, Welzein? If you figure that out, sh*t tickets are on me."

09:16 PM #
Bean Tooth yelled to the fellas at work, "Welzein said he got offered $$$ for pushin' out ass logs!" Everyone piled on. Couldn't explain.

09:20 PM #
"Heard you're showin' your fat asshole for money to guys on the computer Welzein?! Haha! What's that on heavygaycheekspreads. com? HAHAHA!"

09:24 PM #
"Nah, I bet Welzein's in that gay bear porn where mountain men take sh*ts in each other's f*ckin' mouths! Eh, Welzein? HahahaHAHAHAHA!!!"

09:33 PM #
Went on for 'bout an hour. Went to eat by myself. Idiots. They can suck it when I get a Camaro. Gonna shove it hard in their face.

09:39 PM #
When you shove a Camaro in somebody's face who didn't believe in you, they can suck it for a thousand years, you guys.

09:39 PM #
Besides, any real man don't get in the way of another man tryin' to get a Camaro, you guys. They're too busy tryin' to get their own.

09:47 PM #
Nothin' says "American Dreamin'" like firin' off a freedom rocket from a muscle car before you're don't see some corncob forever again.