Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Jul 06 2013

10:16 AM #
Really hurtin'. Feel like I drank a thousand beers last night, you guys.

10:19 AM #
Found a half a Papa John's 'za on the hood of my car. Not sure if I bought it. Probably didn't, but just gonna assume I did and dig in.

10:22 AM #
Why don't more sit down restaurants just sell cold 'za? It's what everyone craves. "I'll have the Cold Pizza Breakfast Plate, please."

10:27 AM #
Better Ingredients. Better Pizza. Still pretty off the chain with bold flavors if you find some on the hood of your car. Papa John's.

10:31 AM #
Why don't Papa John's or Little Caes just make a buncha 'za at night, leave it out to get room temp, then sell it in the AM for big $$$?

10:35 AM #
Sellin' cold 'za to a man who's hurtin' from evening activities is like sellin' assless zebra tights to Diamond Dave in 1984.

10:38 AM #
Maybe I should just invest in a buncha $5 Hot 'n Readys and sell 'em cold on the street to anybody who looks like they wanna die?

10:43 AM #
If it's the buttcrack of the AM and you're eatin' cold 'za, it means you're still alive and your zest for life is unquenchable, you guys.