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DadBoner - Wed Jul 10 2013

12:31 PM #
Really hurtin'. Feel like I drank a thousand beers last night, you guys.

12:34 PM #
When your black and whites turn to greys in the morning, you know you took it to the limit last night. Snow TV on your eyeball channels.

12:36 PM #
Woke up with Bean Tooth and Crazy Cooter in the 'Bring. Stench was thick of male, sauce, and smoke. Like a bad boy cauldron of hot death.

12:39 PM #
Last thing I remember was tryin' to get Bean Tooth to look up on his Nokia. He don't believe Power Moves exists.

12:41 PM #
Drove back from Hooter's in Bay City with Bean Tooth. Never heard so many tales of meat handlin'. Real crass. Who brags with stroke stories?

12:46 PM #
If you're flesh to skin with a babe, it's chill. But no need to tell me 'bout how you tugged out a babe crave release. That's private.

12:52 PM #
Told Tooth, folks get real comfortable with bein' loudmouths in private. In real life, I'll black you out like an '87 Lions game.

12:54 PM #
You don't juice your Capri Sun in another man's car. Solo pleasures in your ride are like bathin' suits: One per customer and no returns.

12:57 PM #
Don't understand what's wrong with corncobs today. Everybody gotta be airin' all their garbage in public. No one cares. Shut up.

12:59 PM #
Everytime you "farted" or "saw the new Go Bots movie" ain't reason to put it on the news. The 'puter should be special. It's technology.

01:01 PM #
After we got back to Flint and picked up Cooter, Tooth was still complaining 'bout his "meaner" from the Hooter's Calendar I bought him.

01:03 PM #
Ain't seen Coot in a while, so we were rappin' 'bout some "slizz" over a couple domestos and a J. Real chill. Guy to guy.

01:06 PM #
Must been about half way through Crue's "Time For Change" when Bean Tooth let out a thick, "guuuuuuhhhhh." Turned around. Wish I didn't.

01:09 PM #
Bean Tooth said, "Sorry, had to gack so my bag didn't rip from fullness." Never heard of guy bag rippin' from an overload. Kinda concerning.

01:13 PM #
Cooter got freaked, "You get your sack drain on me, motherf*cker?!" Punched Bean Tooth in his peener. Straight on. Firmness wasn't ideal.

01:17 PM #
Bean Tooth went all bonkers 'cause he's on blood thinners. Screamed,"My meat ain't gonna heal! You c*ntfu*cker! You wrecked my meat!"

01:20 PM #
Bean Tooth started "milkin his sinner" to keep "the bone blood" flowin'. That's went I pulled over for a smoke. Felt right.

01:21 PM #
Any excuse to have a smoke is a good excuse to have a smoke, you guys.

01:24 PM #
Got back in the ride and we 3 decided, broke peener or guy spray aside, real pals get righteous over a handle of Jim and the Lord above.

01:31 PM #
If you're drinkin a handle of Jim Beam and plowin through the Dr. Feelgood album on repeat with friends, you're still kickin' ass, you guys.

08:58 PM #
Ever not know what day it is, you guys? Man.

09:05 PM #
Still livin' 'Bring dreams, but havin' Camaro wishes. Gotta beg people to go to like a garbage slave. Sick of this.