Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Fri Jul 12 2013

12:59 PM #
Happy Friday to ya, you guys.

06:00 PM #
Still kinda bummed that Amazon thinks my book is "humor." Thought it'd go better under "Self Help," "Action," or "Babe Cravers."

06:03 PM #
Is "Carnal Bad Boy Romance Action" a book category? If not, it should be. Population: POWER MOVES.

06:10 PM #
Sure, if I was Cedric The Entertainment, I'd probably bring the laughs, but that's not my style. I'm run a rugged, yet smooth, operaish.

06:13 PM #
Been bombed out at Bean Tooth's pad with Coot for a few days. By 2, I mean between 2 and 5. Not sure. No one carries calendars anymore.

06:15 PM #
Technically, a "few" can mean any number between a "couple" and a "monster butt load" dependin' on how you work numbers when you're bombed.

06:19 PM #
A "few" cold ones can sometimes mean "12 or more" cold ones. Depends on the notion you'd like to convey to a loved one or authority figure.

06:25 PM #
Bean Tooth said we should all "scrub our sacks down" then call up some babes. Said he's "got a taste for inside thighs." I. I just. Jeez.

06:29 PM #
Now, Coot & Bean Tooth are lined up at the kitchen sink scrubbin' their peener & veggies, talkin' 'bout how ranch mix makes hamburgs better.

06:31 PM #
If your guy zone is in arms' length of another guy's exposed guy zone, that's no time to talk about ranch dressin' recipe secrets, you guys.

06:35 PM #
Me? I prefer to scrub my secrets in a private john sink. Make sure the job's done right from boys to backdoor. I'm not some animal.

06:37 PM #
Told Tooth, if he's callin' over babes, make sure there's one for each to have a private convo. I'm not interested in a timeshare.

06:45 PM #
Only time I'm into multiple male on uno babe erotic action is when it's one on one. 'Cause I'm 3 times the macho. Do the math, you guys.